Tonight, my wife and I worked late and then had dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant we hadn't been to before. The early evening was uneventful. The food was adequate, the restaurant was OK, but it was just a place for acceptable food. We then went to the grocery store. We bought a few items and headed to the car. That's when our evening got a bit ugly.
As we pushed the cart toward our car, I saw out in the parking lot, well beyhond our car, a fairly large Black guy screaming and pushing at a much smaller guy whose ethnicity I couldn't determine. As we got closer to our car, the Black guy's words become clearer...he was screaming obsenities at the smaller guy and repeatedly yelling out "Nigger" to the guy (though the guy did not appear Black to me...but I may be wrong). My wife was very distressed by this and wanted to get the the hell out of there.
But I was concerned that the big Black guy was intimidating the smaller guy. I heard the smaller guy say nothing and he was obviously backing away, trying to get out of the situation. I wanted to do something, but my wife made it obvious that she wanted me NOT to do something...she just wanted out of there.
I don't know if it was my wife's fear that kept me from intervening or if it was my own fear. The big guy was big, much bigger than I. And he was obviously incensed about something. And maybe it wasn't my business.
The big guy walked away from the smaller guy just about the time we got the groceries in the car. I was no longer in a position of deciding whether to come to someone's aid. So I didn't have to face it any longer. I watched as the big guy went inside the grocery store. He had a red apron and put it on as he was entering. Through the window, I could see him talking to someone in the store.
After we got home, I called the store to express my concern, but was essentially brushed off by the manager. The description of the guy was all wrong and they use green aprons, not red. So, it wasn't their problem.
But it wasn't mine either, was it? I always think I'm the sort of guy who would intervene if I saw something like that happening. I could blame my wife's fear, but that would be too easy. I could blame my own fear. That would be too easy, too. My failure to come to the little guy's aid...to at least interfere with what appeared to be an escalating situation in which someone could have been badly hurt...was inexcusable. I didn't have to bluster in and grab anyone. I could have called out from a distance...I could have interrupted. But I didn't.
That disturbs me. I'm not proud of the fact that I apparently don't have the courage to intervene in a situation that is screaming out for intervention.
No pride here tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment