The City of Farmers Branch, a Dallas suburb, recently adopted two ordinances/resolutions that irritate me no end. One makes English the official language of Farmers Branch (oh, that makes a big difference...what it does is offend people) an the other institutes requirements for landlords and others to require proof of citizenship to renters. In my opinion, both are intended to slap Hispanics and others who have flooded into the city in recent years...slap them silly. It pisses me off. I wrote a long and, I believe, basically conciliatory letter (albeit blunt in places), suggesting I will no do business in the city after my current lease expires as long as such laws are on the books. Like they could give a shit.
Tilting at windmills is not my trademark. But I do get so disgruntled when I learn of mindless bullshit such as that being undertaken by the Farmers Branch city council. The result, I suspect, of my letter to City Hall will be for me to be harrassed by the City's 'finest' and for me to be put on someone's watch list. What, me, cynical?
On another topic, utterly unrelated. As a curmudgeonly old fart, I get peeved at certain things. Like hearing, "No problem" instead of "You're welcome." I know, I am behaving like a geezer. I AM ONE! Get over it! It just annoys me. To me, "No problem" in response to "thank you for the lovely flowers" is insane! It's like another language! So, maybe I will make up my own. For me, 'monkey fart" will mean, in today's English, "you're welcome." And to me, the appropriate response to "how are you?" will be "Ready to rip the flesh from a newborn's throat." That means, incidentally, "fine, how are you?"
So, here goes:
"Mr. Smith, thanks so much for helping me with my English homework."
"Monkey fart!"
"Hey Jim, so nice to see you! How's the wife?"
"Ready to rip the flesh from a newborn's throat. How 'bout Nancy?"
If we all spoke the language of dinosaurs, we'd be happier and less complex.
No comments:
Post a Comment