Would You Like to Hear About My Bile Ducts, Too?

I was planning on a carefree holiday weekend. It will probably be pretty laid back, but carefree will be hard.

I mentioned a "bad" thing yesterday, i.e., being told by my cardiologist's office to quickly make an appointment with my family doctor because of alarming lab results that suggested "worsening kidney function." I'd already made an appointment with the family doc for next week for a checkup, so I figured I'd wait until then.

But today my family doctor's office called. He's on vacation, but apparently saw the results that my cardiologist had faxed to him and told his staff to call me to tell me to go right away to see a nephrologist. "I have an appointment to see the doctor next week; can't it wait?" I asked. "No, he wants you to see someone today." The nurse said she'd try to get me an appointment and call me back. She called back. She couldn't get me an appointment until the end of July, so she wanted me to come in to see another doctor at the family medical center, just to check me out..."we wouldn't want anything to happen over a long weekend," she said. She made an appointment for me at 1:00 pm and told me to bring in all medications I'm taking, prescription or not.

So, I went to see the stand-in doctor, a young woman who has seen me before when I've needed to get to a doctor while mine has been enjoying the fruits of his enormous wealth. I actually much prefer her. She's direct but pleasant and there's not a hint of accusatory tone coming out of her mouth.

Anyway, the doctor asked me lots of questions and advised me that one of the drugs I'm taking (an over-the-counter anti-inflammatory for arthritis) could cause problems so I should stop it. From there, I gave them a gift of a little urine and more blood and was given a plastic container the size of a tanker truck in which I was advised to collect all my urine output for 24 hours and bring it in for a huge party at the doctor's office on Saturday. OK, the party thing is stretching it. But, my god, I'd have to drink a couple of cases of see-through lager to be able to even partially fill the tanker truck.

The blood test and urinalysis should tell them something, she said, but she wants me to have a renal sonograph done...that, too, will have to wait until the end of the month.

While she didn't make light of the lab tests and said, indeed, that they could be signs of some very serious stuff, she calmed my nerves by allowing that the elevated urea level could have been caused by my "fasting" before my lab tests. The elevated creatinine, on the other hand, was of more concern. I, of course, don't have a fucking clue what either of them mean, except that they make me nervous.

God, I've done it. I've written an entire blog post about health issues. Shit, I'm getting old. Very, very old. And, at 54, I'm way too young for that.

I just want to be a curmudgeonly geezer. I do not want to be an old curmudgeonly geezer!

P.S. My old insurance shut down 6/30/08. My new insurance, after I select it and fill out the forms, will commence 7/1/08. In the meantime, everything goes on the credit card for reimbursement. Let's all hear it for "universal health care!"