Drift

Today was another one...one of those days that argue vehemently for early retirement. Another staffer, this one only 3 months into the job, gave notice. As it works out, it's not a big loss in one sense but...it's another one! I learned from her that 'there is too much stress' in the job, which requires her to switch from one function to another and back again on a regular basis. I understand her position, but consider her and those who share her traits to be rather useless. Upon learning she was leaving, another of my staff declared that she was not disappointed because the one leaving was constantly talking, interrupting the work flow, etc. Ah, well, I need to hire people who fit better. But I have a long, long history of inept hiring...it's the exception that proves the rule...my ocassional good hire is exceptional.

To mourn this new nasty turn of events, which really will impact my wife's work more than mine, we went out for sushi. Lots of sushi. Tuna, more tuna, mussels, crawfish, scallops, etc., etc. Oh, it was delightful...but when will my diet begin? Oh, and I had some nice cold sake (why do I always try to spell it Saki?).

My five new promises to the world are taking shape. One of them will involve building a compound that will serve as our refuge, our family protectorate. I may need money, so if anyone out there is willing to donate, or perhaps to buy my kidneys, please let me know.

A program I watched last night on our local PBS station struck a cord with me. It dealt with the demise of neighborhoods and the emergence of isolationist mini-castles in suburban neighborhoods. Many photos of monstrously ugly homes in Plano, Texas, just up the block, made me cringe. Mini-mansions that are replacing real homes are ripping up so many communities. I vow to meet my neighbors and, if I can tolerate them, help them create a personality in this neighborhood...a personality and sense of purpose that, today, does not exist.

My wife will go to the office tomorrow. I hate it, but she insists. I probably should go, too, but my commitment to my company and my business has waned. I need, I desperately need, a real vacation that will give me time and space to reconsider my life and what I want from it. I am feeling strongly that I need to make a quick exit from this path I'm on, lest I croak without ever having realized my dreams. That happens to too many people. I'd rather it not happen to me. It shouldn't happen to anyone.

I've had 2 drinks tonight (in addition to the sake at the sushi joint), making me incapable of writing what I think I should. Tomorrow, I'll make up for it. I may not write in this blog, but write I shall!

My poetry meter is not working tonight. I would have liked to end this bit with a provocative poem, but it's not in me. John, you have to regain some focus...someplace, on something...for something. I'm adrift and not sure where I'm going; I'd like to think it's not on a rocky shore.