Gasoline had become increasingly hard to find during the Christianization of the refineries. President Bush had sent teams of Faith-Based chemical engineers throughout the southern United States, directing them to review every function at every refinery to ensure that there could be no question as to the legitimacy of his claim that refineries operate according to God's will. Simultaneously, he ordered dramatic changes in the distribution system, directing large supplies of all grades of gasoline toward Bible belt states and limiting pipeline capacity in such places as California, Oregon, New York, and other states with questionable commitments to the administration's religious and political ideologies.
The "Godding of the Gas" as the Heathens later called it, came on the tails of a shocker of even greater proportions: the 'temporary hibernation of the Constitution.' Following the massive November 2005 demonstrations against the war in Iraq and his administration's bungling of relief to victims of Hurricanes Katrina and Rita, Bush had become increasingly agitated. He had ordered National Guard troops to Washington, DC to quell the uprising, only to be told by his military advisors that the supply of National Guard troops was inadequate; they had been sent to Iraq, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, and--because of protestors flooding in from throughout the U.S. --Crawford, Texas. Not being a man to accept bad new when he expected good, Bush emptied the ranks of his advisors, military and civilian, who could not supply the troops and replaced them with more malleable types who would give him any answer he wanted to hear.
The willingness of his new advisors to simply tell him anything to keep him from getting angry helped accelerate to 'evolution' of his plan (it hurts to say). Initially, he had planned to corral the Senate and House through bullying and intimidation, but that had not been necessary. They were in his pocket in almost full force, Democrats and Republicans alike. So, with no need to waste his energy on those tactics, he decided to go beyond what he once thought was reasonable...instead, he would be bold, brash...'memberable', as he liked to say. Calling a press conference at prime time on October 15, 2005, President Bush made the announcement:
'My fellow Americans. You, like me, are part of this great Christian nation. You, like me, have seen the devastation wrought by our Creator. You, like me, must have wondered: Why? Why would our God exact his wrath upon our country? Why would our God expose us to such pain, such trauma, such horror? I asked for advice on these questions...advice from the finest religious minds of our time. And I got answers.
I learned that it is an abomination unto Him that some among us have forsaken hard work for handouts. And it is an abomination unto Him that some among us have in their hearts a desire to KILL unborn babies. And I learned that it is an abomination unto HIM that some among us are urging our country to reject the natural, holy liquid from under the earth in favor of sources of power as yet untested, sources of power not provided by our Great God, but provided, instead, by SATAN!
When I heard why God had caused the hurricanes...when I heard that God was punishing us for permitting far too much freedom of thought, I decided to take action. The action I have taken, while not necessarily contemplated in the laws of our great Constitution, is most certainly contemplated in the laws of our Almighty God! The action I have taken is to place the United States Constitution in hibernation until we are able to set this country on the right path again. Then, and only then, will we consider reinstating it. Now, you are no doubt wondering what this means for you. Well let me tell you.
What this means for you is that, if you behave as we expect Christian Americans to behave, you will not see much difference from the ways things are now. You may see more military presence in your area and you may be subject to periodic search of your person or your home, but otherwise, the changes will not be significant. But for those who choose to behave in ways that are contrary to the teachings of the Bible as I interpret them, life will not be easy. Those people can expect a harsh master..."
[This will be subject to regular, and probably massive, rewriting...and it will be added to, replaced, moved, massaged, and otherwise changed. In short, the piece you have just read is the first documentation of a still-evolving (there's that word again) idea for a short story. I can't possible make this into a novel...that would give me cause to think Bush will continue in office beyond the end of this year, which is just too painful to consider...]
No comments:
Post a Comment