One day, I'll explain what I have done to justify returning to this blog. Suffice it to say I think it was something that should have been done, but it was not as much as should have been done. But it was something that helps me at least temporarily shelve my shame for bitching too much and doing too little. Enough said, for now.
Some who read this blog know that my wife is a breast cancer survivor. She was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of breast cancer five years ago and was given essentially two options; have a total mastectomy of her right breast and undergo extensive chemotherapy or die soon. It wasn't as straightforward a decision as it should have been. But ultimately she agreed to undergo the surgery and the absolute horrors of chemotherapy. And subsequently she had to face the realization that "don't worry, your hair will grow back," was a lie, unintentional though it may have been. Her very, very thin, wispy hair, barely covers her head now; no matter how she wears it, there is a lot of skin showing...a lot of bald patches. She finally got the point that she could go out in public without a cap. It wasn't because her hair got any thicker, it was because she finally decided she wouldn't let others' reactions to her appearance dictate how she felt about herself and the world.
Five years after her diagnosis, all I care about is that she is a survivor. She's safe. She doesn't have cancer. At least not now. And I'll do anything in my power to keep it that way. One thing I can do is to support efforts to find cures and better ways of treating breast cancer until the cure if found. And one way I can do that is to support the cause of friends, both personal and those I make through blogs, who want and need support while they are dealing with their own personal nightmares of cancer.
And another thing I can do is to condemn organizations that put corporate profits and shareholder "value" above the lives of people who don't deserve to be sacrificed to the almight dollar. One such organization is Gevity, the professional employer organization (PEO) that recently cancelled our contract, which included providing medical insurance coverage for my wife and me, as well as our employees. Their terse, heartless letter said, in effect: Our contract says we can cancel your account for no reaon: we are doing so and we are giving you 30 days notice." If anyone who reads this blog has any influence over anyone who might conceivably have decision-making power over selecting Gevity as a PEO...or if anyone knows of a company contemplating contracting with Gevity...know this: Gevity is not trustworthy. The company utterly ignores its tagline of "People 1st." Its true tagline should be: "Money 1st. People Are Expendable." Bastards. If you know anyone with ANY connections to Gevity, please pass along my views.
And another thing I can do is to be less vindictive. I'll try. As a start, let me suggest to you that you offer any support you possibly can after reading this blog post:
So That There is a Tomorrow.
On a much more positive note: I took my first welding class on Sunday evening. I'm in love with metalworking. During the course of fewer than three hours last night, I fell in love with everything having to do with shaping and joining metals. If I had the skills I would need, I'd quit working in my business tomorrow.
Finally, I looked at several more possibilities for new locations for my company's offces today and found some great options. I am ready to move out of my current space and, in fact, gave notice of my decision not to extend my lease last Thursday. One place I'm looking at could be a retail space, in addition to office space. I'm so tempted, but the old-style office loft was appealing, too. And I'm still thinking I may surprise everyone, including my wife, by just announcing my decision to close my company's doors. Probably not, but my god it's tempting!
One more thing. Read this post from Drugmonkey. It proves that the world is just full of heartless bastards who deserve to die and full of people who make humankind so god damn wonderful. And I hate the duality of it all.
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