Jury...Go Directly to Jury

I received a notice from the City of Dallas Department of Court and Detention Services the other day. It came as a surprise, since I don't recall being in court recently, nor have I been detained, at least not while I was coherent and sober.

I opened the envelope to reveal a petit jury summons, calling on me to appear on July 11 at 9:30 am. As an act of generosity and compassion, the sender also included with my summons a "juror bus/train day pass" that is good for unlimited rids on all DART (Dallas Area Rapid Transit) buses and trains on the day I am supposed to appear.

"This may be my chance!" I thought as I read the summons, before coming to my senses and realizing that a call to serve on a petit jury would probably not put me in a position to order the arrest, imprisonment, and euthanasia-once-removed of George Bush.

So, I shall ride the DART train to downtown Dallas on July 11, hoping beyond hope tha I will be selected to serve on the jury for a lengthy, deadly dull, capital jaywalking case. The last time I had to appear as a potential candidate to serve on a petit jury was November 2005. That, too, was dull. I was not selected. In fact, I was not even interviewed for a spot, a fact I believe was related to the fact that I was (and remain, to this day), a middle-aged white guy who can afford to be off work for a day or two. The people they seemed to select, during my time in the box, appeared to have (and some said as much) little opportunity to keep their jobs if they had to be away long. So, the cretons who stack the decks were happy to do their best to get a perfect score: "Everyone in my jury pool was fired for skipping too much work!" Actually, that probably didn't happen. But I'm seriously skeptical of the reasons those poor folks were given for staying on well after I was released on my own recognizance.

A new staff member started work today. I took her to lunch. I hope, I really hope, she will work out well. If not, I may have to perform an auto-lobotomy.

Let's see, beyond that, everything seems to be falling apart just fine.