Bad Manager

Probably no posts for several days. Intense client meetings from the wee hours of the morning until late, late, late in the evening. I should be able to rely on my staff to handle these events in their entirety. I can't. I'm a bad manager. That's got to be what it is. I should be replaced.

Now It's Tony Snow

Even though I find his politics and his boss perverse and poisonous, the news about Tony Snow--that his cancer has returned--gave me reason to send a positive thought his way, hoping he successfully beats it. My wife's breast cancer, her mastectomy, her grueling chemotherapy, her hair loss that only partially returned...they made me realize that cancer is a very, very bad thing. Not even the politicians I so disdain deserve to have to cope with it. I hope he successfully beats it again and that, with two victories over a life-threatening disease, he re-thinks his political perspective.

I'm reserving those same postive thoughts for Elizabeth Edwards.

If only this administration and this Congress would devote a fraction of the dollars spent on the war in Iraq on science to find a cure for cancer, I can't help but think there would be breakthroughs in short order.

Mechanize Personal Performance...Dejobify People

We're getting too close to major client events...late this week. Given six weeks of dedicated preparation, I could be ready for them. With an entirely different staff, I could have been ready months ago. I'm not the sort of boss you'd like...I don't lavish praise on people simply because they show up for work at least 75% of the time. I have rather high expectations...get the fucking job done!

I interviewed someone today who expressed annoyance at all the paperwork she was expected to complete. BANG! There she went, off the 'possibles' chart. I want to turn back the clock a few years, when people who applied for jobs actually hoped they'd get them. I'm turning into such an obnoxous geezer! I'm all for mechanizing jobs whenever possible...buy a piece of software or equipment and forget all the personal bullshit that employees bring to the table. For that matter, mechanize my job...I'd happily check back every 90 days to see that I'm performing up to expectations.

We should all dejobify...first, eliminate our own staff members...then, eliminate our own jobs. We just have to prepare one another for unemployment...and somebody has to cover the costs, I guess.

150,000 Miles

It will happen tomorrow...the next day at the latest. My 1997 Toyota Avalon will reach its half-life; 150,000 miles. I say half-life because I believe that it should reach 300,000 if it gets the kind of maintenance it should, and does, get. I've maintained it quite well over the years, changing its fluids regularly, ensuring that every service it's supposed to receive has been done, replacing worn parts...and cursing the costs of doing so every visit to a mechanic.

The question, of course, is whether I will curb my appetite for something newer, flashier, with better mileage and with a lower volume of noxious planet-murdering-emissions for another ten years. I doubt that I will...but I have to wonder if my rationale that a newer car will have better emission controls is valid. Well, I don't have to wonder...it's a very, very shady argument. See, I realize the old Avalon won't simply stop emitting bad vapor when I sell it. In fact, I have to assume that the buyer will not be as anal as I have been about maintenance...so its emissions will probably get worse as it ages.

I dunno...I guess I'll just have to play it by ear to see how long I am able to curb my appetite for a newer vehicle. I'm hoping that I do not post an announcement of a newer-car purchase within the month...or even within the year. I'm allergic to car payments...that might be just the tonic that will save me from the bug.

Politics...Same Arguments, Different Players

Following is an interchange between Tony Snow and a member of the White House press corps, that took place on March 21, 2007, during a press briefing by Snow. You can view the White House website for the complete transcript of the briefing. It is evidence of the fact that politicians use arguments at their convenience and they truly hate it when their opponents get to use those very arguments against them. Unfortunately, I've found that bloggers with both liberal and conservative leanings do the same thing. Would that all of us were simply willing to hold everyone to the same standard.

Q So, Tony, back when President Clinton was citing executive privilege to keep internal deliberations in that White House from being talked about in Congress, you wrote -- now famously --

MR. SNOW: I didn't say it was famous, Ed. I didn't get that kind of coverage at the time. (Laughter.)

Q Well, it's become more famous.

MR. SNOW: Is it making its way through the left-wing blogs?

Q It is. (Laughter.)

Q No, no. But you wrote quite eloquently about this. You said, "Taken to its logical extreme, that position would make it impossible for citizens to hold the chief executive accountable. We would have a constitutional right to a coverup."

MR. SNOW: Right. Now let me --

Q So why were you wrong then and right now?

MR. SNOW: Because this is a not entirely analogous situation. I've just told you what we have, in fact, offered to make available to members of Congress. And what we are doing is we are holding apart confidential communications between advisors and the President. And that is pretty standard practice in White Houses. But, again --

Q It's exactly what the Clinton administration talked about.

MR. SNOW: Well, I'm not so sure. And I'll let others do the legal arguing on that. But the important point here is we're maintaining the presidential prerogatives and, at the same time, we're making available exhaustive -- we're offering basically to give them, exhaustively, communications that bear on this issue and also make the key players -- at least at the Justice Department and the people they said they wanted to hear from at the White House -- they're all going to be available. That's not a coverup. That is, in fact, a very open offer to get all the facts into the hands of the people who, presumably, want to figure out what the facts are.

The "famous" words about which that conversation took place were taken from a St. Louis Post-Dispatch item from March 29, 1998, written by Tony Snow:


Evidently, Mr. Clinton wants to shield virtually any communications that take place within the White House compound on the theory that all such talk contributes in some way, shape or form to the continuing success and harmony of an administration. Taken to its logical extreme, that position would make it impossible for citizens to hold a chief executive accountable for anything. He would have a constitutional right to cover up.

Chances are that the courts will hurl such a claim out, but it will take time.

One gets the impression that Team Clinton values its survival more than most people want justice and thus will delay without qualm. But as the clock ticks, the public's faith in Mr. Clinton will ebb away for a simple reason: Most of us want no part of a president who is cynical enough to use the majesty of his office to evade the one thing he is sworn to uphold -- the rule of law.

SleepReady

I'm still not feeling well, but I'm sure I'll be fine. It's no fun feeling rotten...I do not recommend it. I spent the day at the office. Not a good way to improve my health, but at least I got things done that needed to be finished. I'm still on the retirement warpath...I hate this crap. And I want to go to sleep now.

Break

The geezer's not feeling well today. I tried to stay home from work, but my wife wasn't hearing it...there were things she needed me to do, so I had to go. The workday's over for me, she's still at the office, and I've decided I just have to have some time to decompress and deal with whatever this bug is. I may take a break from the blog. Maybe not. I feel like crap.

Bodyworlds Exhibit...if it rains and I'm not busy

There's talk amongst the weatherpeople that rain may overtake us o'er the weekend. That might put a crimp in my pruning and planting plan (I'm easily led astray). So, another possibility, if my more domestic plans are thrown out of kilter, is to go to the Museum of Nature and Science in Dallas to see an exhibit I've been wanting to see for months but still haven't gotten around to viewing. It's Gunther von Hagens' Bodyworlds. Take a look at some descriptive information.



(Realistically, though, with a MAJOR client event coming up next Thursday, I will probably be in the office, scrambling to avoid the catastrophe of not being ready.)

Time to Plant and Prune

It's Thursday. The week in wrapping up. That's a good thing. My yard will get my attention this weekend. It's starving for attention.

Stay at Work

This will be brief. I promise. It may be boring, but it will be brief.

I arrived home today very, very early (in comparison to recent months). Even after my wife and I stopped at Clay Pit for an uninspired, yuppie-style, Americanized, underwhelming Indian dinner (none of which was planned), we got home early. I was driving the car and I forced the issue...we'll leave before 5:30! We missed that, but not by far. We headed toward home and I suggested a cheesy Mexican restaurant with cheap enchiladas on Wednesdays. We were on our way...but then I realized what those Velveeta-infused tubes tasted like and I offered an alternative. Anyway, we ultimately ended up at Clay Pit. Not real Indian food, methinks. They do not understand, either, what constitutes 'medium spicy' or 'very spicy.' I like the latter, I got the younger brother of the former. Much younger. Oh, well.

Once we finished our dinners (lamb vindaloo and goat curry) [KathyF, I'm sorry...I am trying), we decided to head home. We got here and realized (at least I did) that there is no reason to come home after work...work awaits me here in the form of email, phone calls, etc.. So, I will stay there from now on. It's a bitch.

Chile Knows Bush Should Be Impeached!

Here is a snippet from an article in The Santiago Times, a publication for English-speaker who, like me, have either an unnatural affinity for Chile or who live there. It tells a story about how people around the world, including some of our own ex-pats, view our idiotic, unprovoked attack on Iraq:

One of the demonstrators, U.S. Catholic priest Robert Mosher, expressed his frustration with the U.S. occupation of Iraq: "This latest manifestation of U.S. military adventurism in Iraq kills thousands of people (including U.S. soldiers) each day, was never justifiable in the first place and contributes to world instability and economic injustice."

Now, our fascist-in-chief is saying certain of his henchmen may testify privately before limited Congressional groups, but not under oath. To me, that says: "Our people will lie; we will not expose them to contempt of Congress and jail time for that, so we will not allow them to testify under oath. Bush and friends must be impeached. Rise up, people. For God's sake, rise up!

Read Your Local Paper

The size of my office staff continues to dwindle. Today, a long-term temp (since last October) from an agency did not come in again and the agency called to say it was a family emergency and she would be out all week. I informed them it would be unnecessary and unwelcome to have her back.

I had been alerted through a call from another staff member a few minutes earlier, telling me that the temp was seen on the local television news last night. The reason she was on the news is that her trial for felony theft (embezzling $70K+ using a credit card supplied by a former employer, our local school district) was beginning. Hmm. The employment agency takes great pride in 'screening' their people. Thie person's arrest by the FBI took place about a month before she came on with us. I do believe in the notion of innocent until proven guilty, but the evidence I'd learned after checking (and before the agency called) makes me very uneasy having someone in the office with access to credit card information and other financial data belonging to our clients.

If I had been a rabid reader of the Dallas Morning News, I would have known about this long ago. There's another reason to take time to read your local paper every day.

Venezuela

I'm not a Barbara Walter lover...but I respect her (at least sometimes) and I think this bit is worth reading:

Barbara Walters and Bush and Venezuela

I'm tired of Bush and his lies. I think Chavez is a madman, too, but I really, truly hate Bush and his massive wall of deception.

Why can't the governments of the world "get it" the way their citizens do?

Please allow me to introduce myself...

I want to "paint" with my words. I want to create something, not necessarily masterpieces, by using my wordbrush. That's a tall order. I am enamored with language and the ways we can twist it and mold it and shape it in ways that make us laugh and smile and cry and scream. Language captures perceptions and perceptions shape emotions and emotions control beliefs. Well, it could be true.

Let me start with this. Bev and Isabelita and Kathy and Robin are some of my favorite people in the blogospher. When I read what they write, I perceive them as intelligent people. I enjoy discourse with intelligent people (I couldn't bring myself to use 'intercourse' for fear of being hacked to death by jealous husbands). My enjoyment in reading what they say makes me feel good...my emotions are postive. My positive emotions make me believe I would like talking to them, face to face. Well, I might.

But maybe it would be different. Maybe I would loathe them. Is it better to wonder and wish that I'd find them intriguing, face-to-face? Or is it better to find out that they are annoying, trite, troubled people who do nothing more than make my brain boil?

Ahh, that's the beauty of the web! They're all too far away to make face-to-face conversations likely! So, I have to be willing to accept them as I think they may be. OK, they're wondering the same about me...I'd be a terrible disappointment...aging, overweight, carnivorous, surly, intelligent, short, humorous...is any of this making sense? Phil, I assure you she is NOT coming to visit again...that has STOPPED!

You are aware that this is entirely made up...right? I don't know anyone. I've only met my wife once. I am scheduled to be introduced to my brothers and sisters later this year...

Wordbrush

Now this is strange. It's Tuesday...not a weekend...and I'm up early. I've been up for at least half an hour. Now, it's too late to go back to bed, so I'm up for the duration. I was surprised to find that someone stumbled across my blog after doing a search on Google in Germany for 'body Nazi.' When I looked at the specific post, I realized how radically diverse my posts have been over the years.

It's time I return to my love affair with linguistics. I'll attempt to use words in place of a paintbrush. I've tried the paintbrush and have been disillusioned with the results. I'll use a wordbrush, instead.

The Office is the Enemy

There are days during which I see the future of my client relationships. They do not look pleasant. I can't keep my interest up...and my clients notice. I want to trick them into believing I care, but I can't. I want to trick myself into thinking I care, but I can't. I do think some days that an ice cream cart or a game room or a poetry bar would be more lucrative and more fulfilling. I'm serious. Help me convince my wife, please, that we need to cash in and drop out. Not that there would be much cash. But there would be much more time for one another...and time to reacquaint myself with the business end of a shovel and rake.

This weekend, while we were at the office, working, we encountered a couple who appeared to be in their sixties, in the parking lot of of our office building. He was teaching his wife how to ride a motorized bicycle. They've become distributors of this motorized bike, that according to him gets 125 miles per gallon. He will open up his website in a month or two and his retail shop shortly thereafter. I envy him. I envy them.

The're an interesting couple. He has long, long hair, mostly gray with a few ribbons of black, and an unruly and utterly cantankerous beard and mustache. She looks older than he is, with gray hair pulled into a pony tail and wrinkles galore, but her smile is contagious! The wrinkles from her smile brightened the gray day, I tell you. They seemed to me to be, as one of my favorite songwriters would say, "a cross between our parent and hippies in a tent."

Maybe I will be successful in convincing my wife that the office is the enemy. We need out. Urge me on. I need some time to retire. I have an uneasy and utterly unreasonable feeling that I may not have much time left, thanks I guess to my past life as a smoker and my lifelong habits that contribute to heart problems. I don't want to go without at least a brief period of reckless retirement. I've missed too much already.

Landscaping

The neighbors across the sidestreet that passes our house appear to be spending a small fortune on their flower beds. There was a two-man crew there all day yesterday, removing the metal edging from the flower beds across the front of their house, pulling out the plants from the beds, roto-tilling the soil, adding enormous amounts of new topsoil, and then laying a border of top-quality chiseled stone across the front of the beds where the metal edging had been. Then, the crew put in all new plants, making the beds seem like they had been there for years.

The stone, all by itself, had to have cost several hundred dollars. The labor and the new plants added a considerable sum. It does look nice, but the "chiseled stone" look of almost all new landscaping around this area has begun to wear on me. It's almost obligatory: cedar or redwood decks and the like, coupled with layers of chiseled fieldstone...copied in grand style from HGTV landscaping shows. It's a shame that all these people who are trying to make their homes look unique are, instead, making them look like they all hired the same landscape architect.

The older I get, the more I realize the nonsensical blatherings I heard as a young man were not nonsensical at all. Youth truly is wasted on the young. Why could I not have understood, all those years ago, how amazingly powerfuly my parents and my siblings were on my development? Why could I not have understood that my need for, my efforts for, a life independent of my family and friends was silly and stupid and unattainable?

We really are products of our families...or, at least, our pseudo families.

False Start

The temperatures of 70+ of late had lured me into believing Spring had arrived. I awoke today to a temperature outdoors of 45 degrees, evidence that there's still a bit of time left to enjoy those chilly mornings before the onslaught of Dallas' 2-week-long Springtime. Then, it will become SUMMER, that period of several months that makes living in Dallas seem like a choice made by idiots and only idiots. For now, though, I'll wear a sweater and enjoy it.

Music

Music can heal, but it can reveal wounds and worse.
Don't listen unless you're willing to hear.
I've never considered music my muse, but maybe I should.
I'm getting old, but I'm not getting stupid.
That's what youth is for.
Why can't we hear the music then?
When it can help?

Knowledge is the Best Teacher...If You LIsten

An aging fart like me should have something to teach younger people. I don't. At least I have nothing of any consequence to teach them...that's how I feel. Why is that? It's because I realize, as I age, that there are no answers. There are just more questions. Now, I realize many people don't think that way, and you who are reading this may be among them. Sure, there are lots of life's lessons behind me that I could try to "teach" others, but that's a waste of time. Life's lessons are best taught by life, not by people who've lived it. Translation: my experiences matter to me...not to you.

My mood tonight probably has something to do with work pressure and such unimportant crap, but it's perhaps more connected with the fact that I just get it. I get it. We (i.e., the human race) can't seem to behave the way we'd like. Our religions don't help. Our antireligious rants don't help. Nothing helps.

Who cares? Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I appreciate many of you who are working so hard to change the world. Bev, Robin, Roger, Phil, Isabelita, Crabbi, Pissed Off Patricia, Darryl, TFLS, KathyF, KathyR, Birdie, Imperatrix, Hannah...everyone, I do appreciate your presence. I'm just not feeling a particularly charitable attitude toward those who don't listen to you or, worse, don't even acknowledge you.

Experience is the best teacher. But it's not enough. But what's the substitute?

Message in a Dream

A series of dreams last night left me wondering what the hell I've been thinking/drinking.

I was visiting someone in a near-city environment...no in the city, but not really in the country. A sort of grotto area was screened in, partially...it seemed to be almost a cave that had opened up to the outside world as the walls had worn away. The ceiling was solid stone, as was the floor. At one end, a pocket in the ceiling seemed to be the remnants of the cave.

A bug of some kind made a racket in this pocket and everyone looked up to see it. Soon, a bat swooped in from inside the pocket and ate the bug. Then, just seconds later, as the bat clung to the ceiling, a very small hawk swooped in and attacked the bat...it had the bat in its talons and was tearing at it with its sharp beak when a possum seemed to spring up from behind it out of nowhere and grabbed the little hawk in its mouth. Then, almost immediately, a pair of wolves sprang from behind the possum and tore the possum from its perch, tearing it to pieces between them. This all happened in just seconds, but the people in this open-air, screened cave seemed transfixed by what was going on and were unable to move. I remember feeling fear, but more than that, I felt like all of us were in line in the food chain...and that something would be there soon to get at the wolves and then, at us.

The dream seemed to last for hours, but I know it was quick and it may have evolved in my memory since I had the dream last night.

This dream seems to have a message, unlike most of my dreams, but I'm afraid to learn what it is. I don't think I want to know.

Find Us

My efforts to encourage neighbors to create a more cohesive neighborhood are having very, very tiny effects. Two inquiries so far, no measurable results. Funny, while I want to do this, I know, deep in my heart, that I will have precious little in common with these people.

I live is a terribly convervative, heavily religious neighborhood. What the hell was I thinking?! I have a sense of it already. The people I want to energize will be Bush Republicans whose faith in god and the almighty power of the church oozes from every pore.

Calm, John...calm. I can have a perfectly happy, friendly cordial relationship with bible-thumping Republicans. We just can't talk politics, environment, social issues, beliefs...

Oh, hell, this isn't going to work, is it? Maybe an ad in the newspaper will work:

"Cynical, surly, religiously intolerant geezer and his somewhat less opinionated wife seek conversation, bread-breaking, and open dialogue with intelligent people who loathe Bush, actively avoid church, and question EVERYTHING. Warning: We live in Dallas, sometimes known as the seat of hate and greed in North America. Preference given to childless couples or those who understand that their children are of primary interest to THEM. Despite their cynicism, the geezer and his spouse would enjoy activities that might contribute to the betterment of humankind and the appreciation of people as valued residents of the planet. If interested, find us."

I watched an interesting piece on China on NOVA tonight. Thought-provoking stuff. What U.S. president would have the balls to order a reduction in births per family? Which president would insist on taking drastic actions to protect our planet and our way of life? None of them. Bastards.

I don't promote anarchy or revolution (well...maybe), but I do promote insisting of our so-called 'leaders' that they behave like leaders. Take us where we don't want to go when it's called for. Protect us from ourselves when necessary. Protects us from our leaders EVERY DAY.

March 17...march on the capitol. Are you going? Am I?

New Mexico Respite

Most of my weekend was spent at my office, dealing with an ever-expanding load of work associated with upcoming client conferences. My wife's hours at the office exceeded mine by quite alot. These are hard times at the office, especially now that we have new people on staff and remain understaffed and continue to have a staff member who is well below acceptable performance, thanks to her recent illness.

I've convinced my wife, though, that our anniversary in April (27 years) should be an event for celebration. Naturally, we have client events before and after, so we cannot take time off then. But I have made plans to go to Albuquerque, New Mexico in early May, where we will rent a car and wander a bit. Then, we'll go to Santa Fe and environs and try to enjoy the complete change of scenery and get into the desert for some desolation. I've yet to arrange for hotel accommodations in Albuquerque or Santa Fe, so will appreciate any advice. We like our privacy, so a B&B would have to have private quarters...but I do so like really nice, private B&Bs. Our trip will be brief...Thursday-Sunday...but will provide a much-needed respite.

It's About Time

I'm having issues with 'the clock thing.' My computer claimed, when I awoke an hour ago, that it was 4:35 am. My bedside alarm clock asserted that it was 3:35 am. Knowing that I did not adjust my bedside clock, I assume my computer and the evil empire of Bill Gates and company have colluded with the U.S. government to cajole my computer to agree with their interpretations of time.

Sometime in the night, the powers beyond took an hour from me and forced my computer to be complicit in the crime. Where did that hour go? I believe the Bush White House is stockpiling all the hours that the rest of us lost and will bring them back out for all to see just at the moment this imperial presidency is about to end: "Ha, ha, fooled you...we have another 260 million hours left in office! Remember those hours each of you lost? Well, we got them and we're tacking them onto this administration's time in office!" Horrors and maledictions, big damns and little damns!

Actually, I have no real complaints against changing the clocks early. If it will save energy, I'm for it. But a lot of farmers are plenty annoyed by the fact that the clock adjustment is robbing them of early daylight at a time of year they most want it, so they say.

My computer now claims it's 5:46 am, so I think I will creep back into the bedroom to see whether the bedside alarm clock has been infected with new time. If not, I may just get another hour's sleep, just because I want to.

Where there's smoke...

It has been several days since I posted here, and I've read and commented on precious few others these last several days. I supposed I've just been busy and distracted. It's the season at work, I think, that has me feeling disconnected to the world outside my own windows. That will go on awhile, and then in May, after the majority of springtime changes outdoors in North Texas have come and gone, I'll have time to go outdoors to see what I missed.

Last Sunday, my wife and I took what has become a very rare drive into the countryside. We took the interstate north for a ways, far enough to get outside the mass of development that has snaked its way northward in recent years. Then, we took the bluest highways and backroads we could find, roads that see little traffice aside from tractors. I like that. It's hard to explain how I feel such an extraordinary sense of relief to get away from the constant driving pace of the city.

Well into our little drive, I let the wide open spaces knock me upside the head from time to time, testing my sense of humor and my story-telling powers. Here's an example of what those open spaces did for me.

As we were driving down a completely desolate backroad highway, I took note that the ever-present fences that line both sides of the roadway had disappeared. The land around us looked odd, with no barriers between the road and the miles and miles of fields the road pierced. At some point, I noticed what I suspect was a crop, newly planted, in the fields. I have no idea what it was...very, very green, a little like grass, but more of a yellow tint to it. I asked my wife if she had any idea what it was. She didn't. What followed was something like this.

ME:
"It may look like grass, but I think it's something far more sinister than that. I think it's a 'crop' planted by the snack food industry. They've been going through some really tight times of late. As you no doubt know, this county, and the surrounding counties, are among the most lucrative in the southwest for the snack food industry. But the fortunes of the local farming economies have been horrendouse of late. That has put enormous strain on the snack food industry. And the industry has put pressure on local governments.

What we think is 'grass' in these fields is actually an enormous planting of marijuana! And the snack food industry has planted it for one simple reason: they need sales of snack foods in these counties to take a sharp turn! They have a plan! They're going to let these plants grow to a height of 2-3 feet, then they'll hire a bunch of people to sneak into the fields in the dark of night, severing the roots of these young plants. They will quickly wilt and die and dry out. Then, one evening soon, the snack food tycoons will send their minions into the fields to set them alight! Vast fields of dried young marijuana plants will be set ablaze and the choking sweet smoke from those plants will fill the towns and villages in every county for fifty miles! The unsuspecting residents will awaken in the morning, coughing from a night of breathing air heavy with pot smoke, to ravenous appetites. The snack trucks will have converged on every store in the area overnight, laden with all manner of snacks to asuage the hunger pangs of thousands and thousands of people who have become unintentionally stoned and very, very hungry. The snack food economy will have been saved, but the poor people of these parts will have been victimized, nonetheless, by rich snack food barons who have no compunction about forced inhalation of toxic weed."

It was funnier in person. Much funnier.

Auction?

I should be very, very careful in my interactions with clients. Please remind me. I need to be careful.

I had a conversation today with a board member of one of our client organizations. It was a long, long conversation. I try to be honest in my communications with clients (and everyone else), but there are times when it pays to be "politically astute" instead of "steadfastly honest." Today was one of those days. Unfortunately, my thinking was not tuned to self-preservation but, rather, to "tell it like it is."

By the end of the conversation, I had admitted that I questionned the wisdom of several current policies, that I was disappointed in the ability of board members to leave their personal agendas behind when deliberating in the boardroom, and that I was frankly getting a bit sick of the childishness of certain members.

Regardless of the fact that the board member to whom I spoke is someone I trust, I should not have been quite so open. I would not want the same level of honest conversation to happen between other board members...the ones about whom I believe are less than ethical.

So, let this be a lesson. Don't let being tired, worn out, upset, etc. allow you to let your guard down. Today's lapse may have no repercussions...but it could be catastrophic. If it's the latter, you'll know as I put my shoes and shirts up for auction to pay my bills.

Phonetics and Trips and To-Do Lists and Gore's Chilean Visit

As part of my commitment to get to know my neighbors better (I've not done much so far) and help contribute to a sense of community in my neighborhood, I secured a domain name and built a bare-bones website for my neighborhood homeowners association. I got the domain name on Friday evening, then built the site yesterday. I say "built" the site, but what I really did was use a pre-fab theme, threw in a few bits of information about the area, and posted it. I could have literally built the site and uploaded it with FTP, but I don't have that level of commitment to this particuar project.

I'm hoping other neighbors will pick up the development of a really informative/useful site and will handle regular maintenance. Of course, I did this without authorization from the association's board and did it with my own money...but I hope to get reimbursed. My philosophy on this little task was to ask forgiveness, not permission.

So, I'm making little bits of progress on my "to-do" list for the year, but I have done nada to become modestly proficient in conversational Spanish, one of my more ambitious objectives. That has to be a higher priority for me. And my plan to submit some fiction for publication...well, that's still on the list.

My little list of things to do this year is short and simple and should be easily accomplished. But I'm finding that the little free time I allow myself to get away from, and forget about, work leaves me wanting to do nothing more than decompress, unwind, and relax. I'm usually not in the mood to do something like fulfill the commitments I've made to myself...to much work. This attitude has to change. Intellectually, it is clear why I should rearrange my priorities, but practically, it's a bear to make it happen.

OK, what to do today? After having written what I did, you'd think my priorities would be back in line and I'd be sharply focused on my "to-do" list today. Not so. Today will be one for deliberate relaxation involving, very probably, a short road trip with my wife. We used to go out almost every weekend, driving (and using up enormous volumes of gasoline) through the countryside, which we found extremely relaxing and informative. We'd learn about new places, stop in small towns and wander around aimelessly for hours, checking out their cafes and hardware stores and libraries and drugstores...just unwinding and enjoying where we were. That's rare for us these days, both because we are much more conscious of our use of fossil fuel and because we have precious little free time these days. But today, I just feel it's a good thing to do.

Today's a good day to indulge ourselves. That is, if my wife does not sleep in too long. She does love sleeping late when she does not have to go to the office. I'm the opposite. I have a hell of a time dragging myself out of bed to go to the office during the week, but pop up early with no alarm on weekends.

Until my wife arises, I'll savor my very strong French roast coffee and learn about the world's wonders by reading blogs, MSM, and taking a side trip or two from news into information. Speaking of which...

My wife caught a Weekend Edition piece that I missed yesterday and suggested I listen to it. It's an interview by Lynn Neary of Steven Weinberger, a linguist who has created the Speech Accent Archive, a web site with samples of the accents of non-native English speakers (and some native speakers) reading paragraphs in English. It's fascinating!

Oh, one more thing: I just read an interesting perspective on Al Gore's upcoming trip to Chile (in May).

A Meaty Impact on the Planet

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we humans live our lives. I think sometimes that we don't permit ourselves to consider how our actions, our behaviors, our lifestyles impact the world around us.

Just this morning, I thought about how I want to build my 'place in the country' that will become the 'family compound.' I wonder how, if it were truly to become my family compound, we would all get along together, even with designed-in privacy.

Then, I re-read a post on a website that a blogger friend referred to in one of her posts. If you were a regular reader of my friend's blog, you'd know that she is vegetarian and that she is very much an advocate for animals. I've not shared her philosophies, but I've respected them. But I've noticed as I have revisited the post she referenced that I am becoming more conscious of my behaviors. I eat meat. But when I do, I sometimes think back to the referenced post (hold on, I'm coming to that...I'll give you a link) and I cringe. More than that, though, I start to wonder how to validate the information on referenced post...because I want to be sure, when I start arguing its points, that I have a leg to stand on.

If the points the poster makes are valid, we are absolutely, completely, and totally crazy to be devoting our energies toward producing meat for our diets. We would be far better off, and the earth would be better off, if we redirected some of that energy toward improving the food distribution channels so that the abundant food supplies that today we are directing toward animals to be used as meat.

OK, here it is...this is the post. I'm going to ask the poster for references so I can validate what she says. And if I can validate what she says, then I am likely to have quite the incentive to change my habits.

Development

I received a package in the mail yesterday from one of my brothers. Included was a "Development Application" which is, in fact, an application for approval of an OSSF, or "On-Site Sewage Facility." This is the first step in beginning the 'family compound' that I have on my "to-do" list for this year; it's my 'place in the country' that I've always dreamed about. It appears to be an 'iffy' process as the application clearly states in several places that the mere fact that an application may be approved does not mean an OSSF can be constructed. The double-speak of bureaucracy is sometimes mind-numbing.

I wonder how long this process will take, and how much it will cost. One way or the other, though, I'm going to begin. I'd like to see progress by the second half of the year and, if money holds and time is available, some construction by the third quarter.

I'm afraid, though, that there may be plans for the area about which I am unaware. I regularly receive "I want to buy your land" letters from developers who are, ostensibly, in California. My guess is that they buy small tracts of land that are in what they believe to be (or know to be...they probably control it) in development corridors. They buy for pennies on the dollar, knowing that at some point the land they are buying will be worth many times what they paid. I don't relish the idea of being in a highly-developed area at some point in the future. But maybe their plans are so far in the future it won't matter to me, personally.

I'm in the early days of my busiest season at the office, so it looks like the next several months will see me in the office every weekend, including this one. Drat! I have no interest in that!

Back Down Under

Today was my Aussie assistant's last day on the job. It was very sad to see her prepare to leave. My wife and I took her to lunch. We gave her a card, just from the two of us, expressing our sincere appreciation for all she's done for us these last 18 months. This woman is only 21 or 22 years old, but she's so mature and so very pleasant to be around. By the time the end of the day came around, and all of us in the office gathered 'round to wish her well, everyone was feeling a bit down.

I can honestly say that today was the first time the departure of a staff member has made me emotional. We've not become friends, but I've come to rely on her and I've been so proud of the achievements she's made these past several months. Of course she cried and expressed gratitude at all the opportunities she's been given. I do believe we've given her opportunities to learn so very much and I'm proud of that. I wish I could see a realistic way of keeping her on our payroll, or at least keeping her on in a consulting role, after she returns home to Australia. We'll see.

She's not leaving town for a couple of weeks, so we got her to agree to let us (and 2 other senior people at the office) take her to dinner next week, along with her fiance if he's in town. That will be the last time we'll see her and I have to practice so I won't become emotional. It's always embarrassing for a 53 year old man to have his eyes fill with water and his nose run...I always envy those guys whose emotions don't run so close to the surface as mine.

If This is Thursday, I Must Have Worked Late

Today was long and eventful. First, the episodic psychosis of my office computer's Microsoft Outlook took a turn for the worse. The computer was seized with a mighty shudder from Outlook, the latter of which then refused even to acknowledge its own responsibility for sharing messages and appointments and telephone numbers with me.

After several bouts with 'fix' tools and other forms of attempted repair (including an attempt to reinstall Outlook), all of which were useless, I came to realize it was time to call in the experts. They finally came and announced it was not Outlook, at all but, rather, the impending death of my hard drive. So, they 'ghosted' the hard drive, put in a new one, transferred the 'ghost' back to the drive and, Presto!, a working computer. After running more fixes on Outlook (which I abuse by letting far too many messages accumulate), my computer is now working again.

All of this took place as I danced my way around clients wondering "where is thus and such that you promised would be available early today?" Snarl, snap, bark! Dammit, don't they know I generally play Mr. Fixit on my own computer and only after hours of fruitless labor do I call in the experts?! I don't have time for them! Yikes, I hope they don't hear me...they could react badly.

So, after a long day, my wife and I left the office at around 7:00 pm. We stopped in at a Tex-Mex spot near the office, had a good, filling dinner, and now, here we are. It's after 9:00 pm.

I noticed today that Phil is commenting on the Oscars and Al Gore and the assertions that he is using too much electricity. If, indeed, Gore is not practicing what he preaches, I will say I am half upset with him. But, at least he preaches it, while others among us don't even acknowledge our responsibility to the planet or to ourselves and (for some of us) our children and grandchildren. Mind you, if he is the environmentalist-equivalent of the right-wing abstinence-blathering preacher who's impregnating every egg-producing female in the church, I'll be among the first to suggest a swift kick in the teeth. But not yet...I have my doubts about the stories that suggest Gore is an electricity hog.

My blogger friend Kathy is not a Gore afficionado, judging from this post. One of her readers posted a response, suggesting that Kathy's information was not complete. This is all interesting, isn't it? I'm personally in favor of someone completely new in 2008. I don't know who that would be just yet, but I've not seen many candidates that really grab my attention. I'm still wondering about Richardson...don't know him well enough...but I'm just not sure I'm ready to cast my lot with any of them.

Somebody, please convince me that any of the candidates who have already announced their intentions to run for president are worth my time. I need convincing. I'm not half happy with the Democrats and I'm absolutely disgusted with the Republicans (though I don't know enough about Giuliani...but he seems to be socially progressive in some ways, yet I sense a true Republican lurking deep within).