Friday, July 27, 2007
Breather
I think I'm going to take a breather from the blog for a bit...but I've said that before. This time, I may actually be forced to do it, thanks to my work schedule. But I'll be back...sooner rather than later.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Beans and Exercise
An ex-employee from years ago invited us to lunch today. She's better as an ex-employee than as a current employee, but she's actually interesting to talk to. Anyway, shortly after we sat down at the Mexican restaurant she had chosen, I knocked an entire bowl of bean soup into my lap. It was not a pretty sight. I handled it with as much aplomb as I could muster and, after the majority of the juices and sauce and beans were off the table and out of my lap, we moved to another table. After lunch, I dropped my wife off at the office and drove home to change.
My doctor has given me instructions to lose weight, change my diet, and get exercise. He has good reason; my triglycerides were through the roof during my visit earlier this week...more than three times higher than just a year ago. My weight has increased quite alot during the same period. He gave me a prescription to see a dietitian, who he says can give me guidance on a diet to reduce triglycerides. He diagnosed me as being afflicted with dyslipidemia, a disruption of the amount of lipids in the blood. It's caused entirely by diet, he says. So, I have to examine what I'm eating....apparently, too much fatty food, etc.
So, I resolve to do what I should have been doing all along: get more exercise and eat a healthier diet...and minimize the empty calories of booze. We have the pedometers, now we have to use them. And I need to go ahead with my $300 bicycle and my daily walks at lunch.
My doctor has given me instructions to lose weight, change my diet, and get exercise. He has good reason; my triglycerides were through the roof during my visit earlier this week...more than three times higher than just a year ago. My weight has increased quite alot during the same period. He gave me a prescription to see a dietitian, who he says can give me guidance on a diet to reduce triglycerides. He diagnosed me as being afflicted with dyslipidemia, a disruption of the amount of lipids in the blood. It's caused entirely by diet, he says. So, I have to examine what I'm eating....apparently, too much fatty food, etc.
So, I resolve to do what I should have been doing all along: get more exercise and eat a healthier diet...and minimize the empty calories of booze. We have the pedometers, now we have to use them. And I need to go ahead with my $300 bicycle and my daily walks at lunch.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
I Want Inner Peace, Goddamn It, and I Want It Now!
Just now, I've commented on comments on my blog. I did that right after I spent an hour and a half on a client conference call/WebEx meeting. Fortunately, that's all it was. This particular meeting generally takes place "live" and lasts two hours. Today, my wife and I left the office a few minutes before 5:00 and zipped home. She microwaved a frozen dish and we both ate, finishing with only moments to spare before my call started.
And then I listened and took notes...made the occasional comment...and the call ended. What a blast!
Uh, oh. I just looked up to gaze at my little cordovan-colored Buddha figure...but it appeared to have disappeared! I was going to try to get some help with my stress level. I looked and looked about on my desk and then, as I leaned far to the right, I saw that it was sitting just behind a photograph. It seemed to have deliberately hidden. I know better. But it sure looked that way to me.
I'm anxiously awaiting a time, not too many weeks from now, when I'll be able to relax. A time when I won't have to look at the next weekend as simply another opportunity for clients to demand my limited free time. I'm so looking forward to some time to just kick back and relax. I want to relax right now! I'm getting frustrated at the wait, just thinking about it!
And then I listened and took notes...made the occasional comment...and the call ended. What a blast!
Uh, oh. I just looked up to gaze at my little cordovan-colored Buddha figure...but it appeared to have disappeared! I was going to try to get some help with my stress level. I looked and looked about on my desk and then, as I leaned far to the right, I saw that it was sitting just behind a photograph. It seemed to have deliberately hidden. I know better. But it sure looked that way to me.
I'm anxiously awaiting a time, not too many weeks from now, when I'll be able to relax. A time when I won't have to look at the next weekend as simply another opportunity for clients to demand my limited free time. I'm so looking forward to some time to just kick back and relax. I want to relax right now! I'm getting frustrated at the wait, just thinking about it!
Monday, July 23, 2007
Explanation
Just a short while ago I was musing over why I lost my temper at a traffic insult. And that got me thinking: why do I have a short fuse in general? Why can't I control my anger? Why do I let things get to me?
I suspect there's no easy answer for me. If I haven't figured it out in 53 years, it's not a simple thing. I consider myself pretty intelligent; a simple answer would have presented itself long ago.
And then something struck me that may have crossed my mind before, but not in recent memory. It's not just anger that is easy to come. It's every emotion, as if every emotion I'm able to feel is always just beneath the surface. I can become enraged easily. I can just as easily, if not more easily, be overcome by sadness or happiness or feelings of empathy or disgust or loathing. Maybe all these seething emotions are just looking for vents and, if they haven't been sufficiently vented in awhile, they boil to the surface.
That's a convenient explanation, but I don't think it's that easy. But it's one to put on my list of things to think about.
I suspect there's no easy answer for me. If I haven't figured it out in 53 years, it's not a simple thing. I consider myself pretty intelligent; a simple answer would have presented itself long ago.
And then something struck me that may have crossed my mind before, but not in recent memory. It's not just anger that is easy to come. It's every emotion, as if every emotion I'm able to feel is always just beneath the surface. I can become enraged easily. I can just as easily, if not more easily, be overcome by sadness or happiness or feelings of empathy or disgust or loathing. Maybe all these seething emotions are just looking for vents and, if they haven't been sufficiently vented in awhile, they boil to the surface.
That's a convenient explanation, but I don't think it's that easy. But it's one to put on my list of things to think about.
Unhinged
I came unglued today when, as I stepped on my brakes hard to avoid running through a yellow light, the guy behind me started mouthing expressions of annoyance with me. I saw it in my rearview mirror. He kept it up and I had a sensation that felt like a nerve in my brain had just short-circuited, shooting electrical impulses through my head. And, as I said, I came unglued. I started screaming at him and threw open my door, intent to go give him a piece of my mind. My wife was with me, and she screamed at me and grabbed my arm and pulled me back inside the car, scratching my arm pretty badly in the process.
Although I acquiesced to her admonition, I kept ranting and then, when the light changed and he started honking at me, my rage reignited. I made the turn and pulled into the right lane; the guy pulled up next to me and shot me the finger. And then my rage exploded even more. I swerved over toward his car and screamed something to him, probably a threat that I was going to kill the bastard, and took some satisfaction in seeing his car swerve. I held my rage in check, but kept pace with his car and glared at him. He switched lanes just before the next traffic light and turned off the road onto another one. And then I continued on my drive home.
There's no justification for my rage and resulting behavior, nor for the idiot's taunts. I think this is a signal that I need to withdraw into myself for awhile and think. What's driving me to the edge to the extent that I would almost get into a physical altercation with someone for a traffic insult?
I've always had a short fuse. Today, I felt like I had blasting caps going off inside my head. This is nuts. This is completely crazy. I will listen to Greg Brown singing "Laughing River" and maybe that will bring me back to the brink of sanity. It's not good becoming unhinged.
Although I acquiesced to her admonition, I kept ranting and then, when the light changed and he started honking at me, my rage reignited. I made the turn and pulled into the right lane; the guy pulled up next to me and shot me the finger. And then my rage exploded even more. I swerved over toward his car and screamed something to him, probably a threat that I was going to kill the bastard, and took some satisfaction in seeing his car swerve. I held my rage in check, but kept pace with his car and glared at him. He switched lanes just before the next traffic light and turned off the road onto another one. And then I continued on my drive home.
There's no justification for my rage and resulting behavior, nor for the idiot's taunts. I think this is a signal that I need to withdraw into myself for awhile and think. What's driving me to the edge to the extent that I would almost get into a physical altercation with someone for a traffic insult?
I've always had a short fuse. Today, I felt like I had blasting caps going off inside my head. This is nuts. This is completely crazy. I will listen to Greg Brown singing "Laughing River" and maybe that will bring me back to the brink of sanity. It's not good becoming unhinged.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Roadtrip Home
We started the day at Taqueria Jalisco, an unimpressive looking place on Highway 71 in Bastrop, just across the street from the H.E.B. grocery store. I'm not sure what attracted us to the place, but a full parking lot had something to do with it. Inside, the Mexican music was blaring, giving the place a lively, friendly atmosphere right from the start. The restaurant is decidedly casual...extremely so...and that got things started on the right foot for me.
My wife ordered a taco de carne guisada (like the day before in Austin) and a taco de nopalitos (made with cactus "leaves" and egg). I did the same, but added a second taco de carne guisada, on account of my gluttony. Good stuff! The guisada wasn't quite as appealing as the Austing version, but the heavy taste of freshly ground chile powder made up for it. I would go back. I will go back.
From there, we wandered around Bastrop and got a close-up look at the Colorado River which was far, far beyond its banks. The surface of the river was not smooth, but neither was it writhing with turbulence. In short, it was deceptively quiet, but it was apparent from the occasional log or branch speeding by that the currents were very fast and very dangerous. After our gander at the river, we went exploring Bastrop and found many very attractive houses, some of which were large and beautiful and expensive, others just large and beautiful. The town is chock-full of turn-of-the-century homes (from the 19th century) and older ones, many of which have been well-maintained and others which have been completely renovated. Only once or twice did we see evidence of idiocy and conspicuous consumption gone mad...the typical monstrosities that scream "more money than sense...a stupid person lives here!" The rarity of those beasts was refreshing.
Finally, we headed north and ended up at lunchtime in Taylor, a small town northeast of Austin. Louie Mueller's is closed on Sundays and we have eaten at another big-name place (whose name escapes me) a few years ago, so we thought we'd try a place we'd heard about, the Taylor Cafe. The Taylor Cafe is on the edge of the railroad tracks, just under the edge of a bridge that allows Main Street to pass over the tracks. It's damn hard to find and the entrances are almost unmarked. Upon entering, we saw low-hung ceilings, a center service area surrounded by barstools, and a few chairs and tables on both sides of the room. It was dark and dingy but smelled delightful. An old part-timer was our server and he apparently was really part-time, really new, and really had never worked in the "hospitality" industry. He wasn't unfriendly, just aloof. But he took our order of a rib plate for my wife and a brisket sandwich for me. The food was OK, but the atmosphere was stellar. It made me think I had landed deep, deep, in a Larry McMurtry story in a small Texas town...the characters, including the old black man sipping his beer and ocassionally wiping tables, the group of firefighter trainees, who sat at the counter eating their ribs, speaking in Texas drawls so deep I could barely understand them, and the hispanic guy who kept coming on to the mid-forties waitress who joined our old man server late in the game.
The restrooms were horrendously filthy and smelly and any health department in the world would shut the place down just because of the open access to rodents under the walls, between doors and walls, etc. But the place has serious character. It was a shame I forgot to take my camera on this trip.
From Taylor, we drifted north and finally got on the Monster Highway, IH-35. It wasn't bad most of the way, I have to admit. But it is an evil road. The only saving grace were our stops: one in a little town called Bartlett and another just outside Italy. Even though we were stuffed, when we say the ramshackle little shack with its lean-to "dining area" and its hand-lettered sign, we had to stop. It was Perez Barbeque, a place we learned is open only on Saturday from 6:00 am to 5:00 pm and on Sunday from 6:00 am to 3:00 pm. It's obviously really only suited to take-out barbeque, because the "dining area" is too small for more than 3-4 people and, when we drove up, two workers and two of their friends were there. We decided we had to take something home, though, so we got some ribs and some sausage. We just couldn't pass it by. In fact, I have come to believe that the places that are open only when the owners don't have to work at their real jobs are the places likely to have the best stories and some of the best food.
Then, we stopped on the highway edge of the little town of Italy, where we went in to a market where they sell a huge variety of jerky and sausage (and they let me taste any jerky I wanted). We had stopped on the way down to Austin...and there was no reason not to stop on the way home. We were met outside by a country western musical group, who we took to be family members, just finishing up a number just outside the front door. They were good. But we had come for bathrooms, jerky, and an interesting new soda that my wife and I had developed a liking for...Izze. We particularly liked the clementine flavored sparkling water.
The stop refreshed me, so the 30-minute crawl once we got into Dallas didn't bother me too much, particularly since I got to see the reason for it, a minor wreck that backed up traffic for miles.
And then, home! And then, moments later, a downpour of biblical proportions. Next, wash the clothes and go buy a newspaper. And settle back and prepare for another week of wonder.
My wife ordered a taco de carne guisada (like the day before in Austin) and a taco de nopalitos (made with cactus "leaves" and egg). I did the same, but added a second taco de carne guisada, on account of my gluttony. Good stuff! The guisada wasn't quite as appealing as the Austing version, but the heavy taste of freshly ground chile powder made up for it. I would go back. I will go back.
From there, we wandered around Bastrop and got a close-up look at the Colorado River which was far, far beyond its banks. The surface of the river was not smooth, but neither was it writhing with turbulence. In short, it was deceptively quiet, but it was apparent from the occasional log or branch speeding by that the currents were very fast and very dangerous. After our gander at the river, we went exploring Bastrop and found many very attractive houses, some of which were large and beautiful and expensive, others just large and beautiful. The town is chock-full of turn-of-the-century homes (from the 19th century) and older ones, many of which have been well-maintained and others which have been completely renovated. Only once or twice did we see evidence of idiocy and conspicuous consumption gone mad...the typical monstrosities that scream "more money than sense...a stupid person lives here!" The rarity of those beasts was refreshing.
Finally, we headed north and ended up at lunchtime in Taylor, a small town northeast of Austin. Louie Mueller's is closed on Sundays and we have eaten at another big-name place (whose name escapes me) a few years ago, so we thought we'd try a place we'd heard about, the Taylor Cafe. The Taylor Cafe is on the edge of the railroad tracks, just under the edge of a bridge that allows Main Street to pass over the tracks. It's damn hard to find and the entrances are almost unmarked. Upon entering, we saw low-hung ceilings, a center service area surrounded by barstools, and a few chairs and tables on both sides of the room. It was dark and dingy but smelled delightful. An old part-timer was our server and he apparently was really part-time, really new, and really had never worked in the "hospitality" industry. He wasn't unfriendly, just aloof. But he took our order of a rib plate for my wife and a brisket sandwich for me. The food was OK, but the atmosphere was stellar. It made me think I had landed deep, deep, in a Larry McMurtry story in a small Texas town...the characters, including the old black man sipping his beer and ocassionally wiping tables, the group of firefighter trainees, who sat at the counter eating their ribs, speaking in Texas drawls so deep I could barely understand them, and the hispanic guy who kept coming on to the mid-forties waitress who joined our old man server late in the game.
The restrooms were horrendously filthy and smelly and any health department in the world would shut the place down just because of the open access to rodents under the walls, between doors and walls, etc. But the place has serious character. It was a shame I forgot to take my camera on this trip.
From Taylor, we drifted north and finally got on the Monster Highway, IH-35. It wasn't bad most of the way, I have to admit. But it is an evil road. The only saving grace were our stops: one in a little town called Bartlett and another just outside Italy. Even though we were stuffed, when we say the ramshackle little shack with its lean-to "dining area" and its hand-lettered sign, we had to stop. It was Perez Barbeque, a place we learned is open only on Saturday from 6:00 am to 5:00 pm and on Sunday from 6:00 am to 3:00 pm. It's obviously really only suited to take-out barbeque, because the "dining area" is too small for more than 3-4 people and, when we drove up, two workers and two of their friends were there. We decided we had to take something home, though, so we got some ribs and some sausage. We just couldn't pass it by. In fact, I have come to believe that the places that are open only when the owners don't have to work at their real jobs are the places likely to have the best stories and some of the best food.
Then, we stopped on the highway edge of the little town of Italy, where we went in to a market where they sell a huge variety of jerky and sausage (and they let me taste any jerky I wanted). We had stopped on the way down to Austin...and there was no reason not to stop on the way home. We were met outside by a country western musical group, who we took to be family members, just finishing up a number just outside the front door. They were good. But we had come for bathrooms, jerky, and an interesting new soda that my wife and I had developed a liking for...Izze. We particularly liked the clementine flavored sparkling water.
The stop refreshed me, so the 30-minute crawl once we got into Dallas didn't bother me too much, particularly since I got to see the reason for it, a minor wreck that backed up traffic for miles.
And then, home! And then, moments later, a downpour of biblical proportions. Next, wash the clothes and go buy a newspaper. And settle back and prepare for another week of wonder.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Road Sanity
I awoke to the sound of my cell phone ringing. It was just a few minutes after 8:00 am. My wife and I had not set the alarm because we did not have to be anywhere until 11:00 am and, besides, we had stayed up rather late. I missed the call, but called back quickly to find that two people who were to attend my client meeting today were stuck in San Antonio by high water and more storms on the way.
After getting that bit of information, we drove to South First Street, where we had a nice Mexican breakfast at La Reyna. Lots of other places looked very inviting, but my wife had seen something about La Reyna and so that's where we went. My wife had a taco de carne guisada in a flour tortilla and a migas taco; I had a taco de carne guisada, one taco de barbacoa, and an order of carne guisada y pappas, the latter of which turned out to be slightly flavored slices of boiled potato. Everything else was outstanding. And the salsa picante was flavorful and hot enough to make me break a significant head-sweat.
My meeting took place....over at 1:30. Off we went to Lockhart, waiting to worry about where we would have barbeque until we reached town (only 30 miles from Austin). We opted for Smitty's, which is housed in what once was Kruez Market and is owned by one of the former owners of Kruez Market, which is now located in an old building nearby. We decided on Smitty's because we loved the sensations the place gives us. Walk in the front door, past an indented spot on the concrete floor where oak logs are burning...you have to be careful not to brush against them. Smoke is thick in the room and the odor of smoked meat is almost overwhelming. Order and pay in the hot room, near the grill, and take the meat (wrapped in waxed meat paper) inside, where you can buy accompaniments if you wish.
I got some brisket and a couple of links of sausage. My wife got ribs. It was delicious, but too much food. We packed away a good bit to take home with us. Of course, we also got a bit of potato salad, coleslaw, jalapenos, bread, etc. By the time we finished, rain was pouring down in sheets. I dashed out to get the car, drove close to the door, picked up my wife, and off we went toward Bastrop.
By the time we got to Bastrop, the weather looked pretty evil and I was not in the mood to ford rising waters, so we decided to stay overnight. A brief look convinced us that the Comfort Inn was the best deal, despite being a bit pricing.
After checking in, we drove around Bastrop, viewing the town through raindrops. It's a pretty town, with a beautiful courthouse and an attractive little downtown area with nice little restaurants around the square. We stopped during a brief respite in the rain to get out of the car and attempt to get a look at the Colorado River, which is flooding well beyond its banks. The only place we know to get a very good view is on the bridge from one side of town to the other, but we decided to wait to see if the weather is more cooperative tomorrow to try to walk across that bridge.
For dinner, we went to The Roadhouse, where we both had bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches, jazzed up a bit with slices of avocadoes. I added jalapenos to mine. The Roadhouse has live music a little later, but we decided to get back to the hotel and settle in to watch HBO...at least my wife will. I'll seek information and record my ideas and avoid too much television.
Tomorrow, we're going to play it by ear. We must be home by about 3:00 pm so we can do our wash, prepare for the upcoming week, and decompress.
I do love these little trips, even short ones wrapped around business meetings. They allow me to prove to myself that I still have a little sanity left, and just enough craziness.
After getting that bit of information, we drove to South First Street, where we had a nice Mexican breakfast at La Reyna. Lots of other places looked very inviting, but my wife had seen something about La Reyna and so that's where we went. My wife had a taco de carne guisada in a flour tortilla and a migas taco; I had a taco de carne guisada, one taco de barbacoa, and an order of carne guisada y pappas, the latter of which turned out to be slightly flavored slices of boiled potato. Everything else was outstanding. And the salsa picante was flavorful and hot enough to make me break a significant head-sweat.
My meeting took place....over at 1:30. Off we went to Lockhart, waiting to worry about where we would have barbeque until we reached town (only 30 miles from Austin). We opted for Smitty's, which is housed in what once was Kruez Market and is owned by one of the former owners of Kruez Market, which is now located in an old building nearby. We decided on Smitty's because we loved the sensations the place gives us. Walk in the front door, past an indented spot on the concrete floor where oak logs are burning...you have to be careful not to brush against them. Smoke is thick in the room and the odor of smoked meat is almost overwhelming. Order and pay in the hot room, near the grill, and take the meat (wrapped in waxed meat paper) inside, where you can buy accompaniments if you wish.
I got some brisket and a couple of links of sausage. My wife got ribs. It was delicious, but too much food. We packed away a good bit to take home with us. Of course, we also got a bit of potato salad, coleslaw, jalapenos, bread, etc. By the time we finished, rain was pouring down in sheets. I dashed out to get the car, drove close to the door, picked up my wife, and off we went toward Bastrop.
By the time we got to Bastrop, the weather looked pretty evil and I was not in the mood to ford rising waters, so we decided to stay overnight. A brief look convinced us that the Comfort Inn was the best deal, despite being a bit pricing.
After checking in, we drove around Bastrop, viewing the town through raindrops. It's a pretty town, with a beautiful courthouse and an attractive little downtown area with nice little restaurants around the square. We stopped during a brief respite in the rain to get out of the car and attempt to get a look at the Colorado River, which is flooding well beyond its banks. The only place we know to get a very good view is on the bridge from one side of town to the other, but we decided to wait to see if the weather is more cooperative tomorrow to try to walk across that bridge.
For dinner, we went to The Roadhouse, where we both had bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwiches, jazzed up a bit with slices of avocadoes. I added jalapenos to mine. The Roadhouse has live music a little later, but we decided to get back to the hotel and settle in to watch HBO...at least my wife will. I'll seek information and record my ideas and avoid too much television.
Tomorrow, we're going to play it by ear. We must be home by about 3:00 pm so we can do our wash, prepare for the upcoming week, and decompress.
I do love these little trips, even short ones wrapped around business meetings. They allow me to prove to myself that I still have a little sanity left, and just enough craziness.