There must be something that's really putting stress on me lately, but I can't pin it down. For at least a week, I've been incredibly moody, triggering my rage and wrath at the slightest provocation. Every time, there's something to which I can trace it, but it's never even remotely important enough to justify a meltdown. In man cases, it's simply my reaction to a situation where's there's no legitimate blame to be laid, but I've found it easy to lay blame.
After 54 years, I should know how to deal with my own disappointments but I'm afraid it appears not to be the case of late. The people around me, the people I love, shouldn't have to put up with it. It's inexcusable. But it goes on.
I wonder if it's the incessant pain in my neck and shoulder that's pushing me over the edge, but I think it's probably not that. The pain has actually subsided a good bit over the last week. I wonder if it's the fact that several clients seem to be folding up around me. That could be it, I suppose. Bt you'd think I would work to keep them, instead of pushing the envelope, and almost daring them to walk.
My all-to-frequent tirades about my business and my clients may be getting to me. I may really need a vacation, time to think it out. But, of course, I can't possibly step away now, not even briefly. There's just too much to do and too much that only I can do. That's not right; others should know how to deal with issues that are now my sole province. That' my fault, no one else's.
Some days I feel like I'm so close to snapping I can hear the fibers in my brain begin to fray and pop. I can only imagine what people who have to deal with me must feel; it must be far worse for them. Maybe by simply putting this down in black and white and allowing myself to think it will help alleviate the strain, put the tightly wound coil back in my brain. I do hope so.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Happy VD
Today was a typical Valentine's Day. My wife and I went to a fantastic sushi buffet for lunch (rather pricey, but, hey, it's Valentine's Day), so we were not particularly hungry for dinner. I had planned on making chicken flautas, but wasn't hungry enough to eat them. That didn't stop me from making them. So, we have about 20 chicken flautas ready to fry and eat, anytime.
That's the extent of my excitement...except that my brother and his wife will be coming in from Mexico around March 11, which will be a nice treat.
Soon, I'll have more to write about...or, at least, I'll write more about the same amount of experiences.
That's the extent of my excitement...except that my brother and his wife will be coming in from Mexico around March 11, which will be a nice treat.
Soon, I'll have more to write about...or, at least, I'll write more about the same amount of experiences.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Repeat
Today could have been any one of hundreds just like it that I've experienced over the past few years. I won't bore you with details. Even the late-evening television crap is a repeat of a repeat.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Niece and then some
My niece and her husband are on their way home...they've probably arrived by now. We had a great time with them yesterday and today...nothing special going on, just odds & ends & errands but it was great fun. They're interesting and intelligent people.
While they were here, they taught us a bit about how to select, prepare, and use mandioca, otherwise known as Manihot utilissima, yuca, or Manioc. Watching the root being peeled and prepared made me realize how little I know about the real world. I have lived a protected life.
Besides the lesson in purchasing and preparing mandioca, we learned more about his father's experience last summer...awakening to the sound of something dreadfully wrong next door, getting up, and then finding himself on the wrong end of a gun. He was shot in the tip of the nose and the bullet zipped down and broke his jawbone and cheekbone. This occured in a small village in Paraguay, where my niece's husband is from and and where his parents still live. We saw photos of their home and of the poor man laying in a hospital. The bullet remains lodged in his head...where it will remain unless an urgent needs develops to remove it.
Looking at photos of the family...father, mother, twin brother, sisters, in-laws, et al, made me want to go to Paraguay and become acquainted. I do not speak Guarani, nor do I speak Spanish...their languages...nor do they speak English. What a problem with communication!
Ignacio, my niece's husband, is slowly learning more and more English and will, one day, become fluent. In the interim, I'll learn more and more Spanish, his second language, and be able to communicate better with him. I enjoy them. A couple of intelligent people who can see through me when I'm full of it...and I like that! And, of course, my wife loves having them around! What fun!
I wish I could retire and help them create a great new life for themselves, allowing them to do what the want, and still have plenty of time for familial socializing. I guess I better look after myself and my wife, first.
While they were here, they taught us a bit about how to select, prepare, and use mandioca, otherwise known as Manihot utilissima, yuca, or Manioc. Watching the root being peeled and prepared made me realize how little I know about the real world. I have lived a protected life.
Besides the lesson in purchasing and preparing mandioca, we learned more about his father's experience last summer...awakening to the sound of something dreadfully wrong next door, getting up, and then finding himself on the wrong end of a gun. He was shot in the tip of the nose and the bullet zipped down and broke his jawbone and cheekbone. This occured in a small village in Paraguay, where my niece's husband is from and and where his parents still live. We saw photos of their home and of the poor man laying in a hospital. The bullet remains lodged in his head...where it will remain unless an urgent needs develops to remove it.
Looking at photos of the family...father, mother, twin brother, sisters, in-laws, et al, made me want to go to Paraguay and become acquainted. I do not speak Guarani, nor do I speak Spanish...their languages...nor do they speak English. What a problem with communication!
Ignacio, my niece's husband, is slowly learning more and more English and will, one day, become fluent. In the interim, I'll learn more and more Spanish, his second language, and be able to communicate better with him. I enjoy them. A couple of intelligent people who can see through me when I'm full of it...and I like that! And, of course, my wife loves having them around! What fun!
I wish I could retire and help them create a great new life for themselves, allowing them to do what the want, and still have plenty of time for familial socializing. I guess I better look after myself and my wife, first.
About this Planet of Ours...Interesting and Strange News Today
Here are some things you may find interesting...I do:
- Secret "Eco-towns" and "social housing" creating row in Britain
- London's Campden Market Goes Up In Flames
- Bomb Warning Prompts Evacuation of North Sea Oil Rig
- The Bitter Taste of Starbucks
- Canada's Economy Puts US to Shame
- The Number of Children Born in Russia Last Year Highest Since 1991
- The Real Results of Chavez' Approach to Economic Management--You have to read between the lines here
- Let Him Roast His Pig, for Christsakes!
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Pecans
I just came across a couple of photos that were hidden away it the same folder as the photos from my hot air balloon ride with my wife. I have no clue why they were there. This one is worth posting...just because I like pecans.
Hey, Neighbor...
I've written an open letter to my neighbors. I think I'll submit it for publication in the next homeowners' association newsletter.
Hey, Neighbor...
I know you must be busy. You probably have a family, job responsibilities, and you likely have kids that demand that you take them to soccer practice, band practice, the German club, the Spanish club, Sylvan Learning, the psychologist, and college prep classes. But are you also a self-absorbed, utterly selfish bastad? I think you are, and here's why.
We've asked several times for your help with our volunteer homeowners' association, hoping you might at least acknowledge that the organization exists and that it provides services to you. You know, things like irrigation at the entrances to the subdivision, lawncare for those entrances, the little refrigerator magnets that remind you of the crime alert phone number, the telephone service for the crime alert, a newsletter, a website, opportunities to mix and mingle, and dozens of other "little" things. But you haven't responded, not even with an excuse that you're busy. You've just been just discourteous enough to utterly ignore us!
I realize you may be one of those 50%+ of our neighbors who don't pay the $50 annual homeowners' dues because you think they're too high, and so you don't think you're a part of the community. But could you at least acknowledge our existence when we ask for your help in finding a neighbor's cat? By the way, since you don't want to pay dues, would you mind if we simply didn't report any break-ins we see occurring at your home? Well, we won't ignore you, because that wouldn't be neighborly. Right.
Maybe you are one of those who does pay dues, though. You just think that absolves you of all other responsibilies. "Let someone else take care of the details." OK, bud, but your dues are going to increase. Send us a check for $2500 and we'll call it even, OK?
By the way, whether you paid your dues or not, if your car that's parked illegally ona curve on my street blocks the firetrucks coming to respond to a fire, even if it's a false alarm, the fire the fightfighters put out will be an automobile that began burning after being doused with an accelerant.
Hey, Neighbor...
I know you must be busy. You probably have a family, job responsibilities, and you likely have kids that demand that you take them to soccer practice, band practice, the German club, the Spanish club, Sylvan Learning, the psychologist, and college prep classes. But are you also a self-absorbed, utterly selfish bastad? I think you are, and here's why.
We've asked several times for your help with our volunteer homeowners' association, hoping you might at least acknowledge that the organization exists and that it provides services to you. You know, things like irrigation at the entrances to the subdivision, lawncare for those entrances, the little refrigerator magnets that remind you of the crime alert phone number, the telephone service for the crime alert, a newsletter, a website, opportunities to mix and mingle, and dozens of other "little" things. But you haven't responded, not even with an excuse that you're busy. You've just been just discourteous enough to utterly ignore us!
I realize you may be one of those 50%+ of our neighbors who don't pay the $50 annual homeowners' dues because you think they're too high, and so you don't think you're a part of the community. But could you at least acknowledge our existence when we ask for your help in finding a neighbor's cat? By the way, since you don't want to pay dues, would you mind if we simply didn't report any break-ins we see occurring at your home? Well, we won't ignore you, because that wouldn't be neighborly. Right.
Maybe you are one of those who does pay dues, though. You just think that absolves you of all other responsibilies. "Let someone else take care of the details." OK, bud, but your dues are going to increase. Send us a check for $2500 and we'll call it even, OK?
By the way, whether you paid your dues or not, if your car that's parked illegally ona curve on my street blocks the firetrucks coming to respond to a fire, even if it's a false alarm, the fire the fightfighters put out will be an automobile that began burning after being doused with an accelerant.