Yesterday got ugly. After sparring all day with board members about the poor performance of a staff member who I just decided to let go, an unexpected bombshell was dropped. I was informed they would be "looking at our options" to replace my company's services. This was after we had reviewed the failings not only of the staffer, whose illness I am convinced played a major role in nonperformance, but of certain organization representatives who contributed mightily to confusion, etc. And, it was after I explained how I would personally be involved on a day-to-day basis from here on.
When told that options would be explored and that they hoped I would submit a proposal, I responded that I would, instead, be delivering official notice of termination according to our contract. I would not, I explained, hire a replacement executive on the off-chance that they might decide to stay. I further explained that, after all of our conversations over the past few weeks and the commitments made by both parties to the other, I was dumbfounded at their about-face.
I was asked to give them some privacy for a few minutes, after which they said they would not be exploring their options, after all. Instead, we will go back to the earlier-agreed process: both sides will seek to improve processes and communications and both will monitor performance, expecting improvement.
I'll get this in writing, of course, but still have doubts. Their lead person is someone who, in my view, has an axe to grind and a personal agenda.
Today, I meet with a smaller group of them to dissect their miserably failed legislative efforts this year, efforts for which they paid far more than they paid for our services and efforts in which we had very little involvement.
All politics is personal.
Saturday, June 9, 2007
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Rain Helps
I've been interviewing people for the last few days, trying to find someone to replace the unfortunate staff member whose performance has been so abysmal and who, I hated to decide, had to be dismissed. She's still on board and seems to have actually gotten better, but it's too late. I hate it that she will be on the market again and will, no doubt, find it extremely hard to find a job. Anyway, I've been talking to applicants.
The applicants have ranged from a brand-new, fresh, wet-behind-the-ears college grad (today) to a well-seasoned manager who's "seen it all." During this stint of interviewing, I've decided that I'm actually looking for two positions, at least: one to replace the departing staffer...a person who can lead the client, serve as a sounding board for clients, and have credibility with them; and another to be a support person, someone with high energy, a quick learner with unbridled enthusiasm. The "college kid" I talked to today will come back on Monday; I liked him and he seems like a malleable person, but one who has sufficient backbone to avoid being molded into something he's not.
Yesterday, I interviewed a woman who is my age (she says), 53, but I was appalled to look at her. She was shriveled and her face was crossed with lines and wrinkles and there is evidence of a hard life behind her. That, alone, was hard to get beyond, but she added to the burden: her answers to all my questions were 95% longer than I'd had hoped and she blathered on about meaningless drivel. And she admitted it. This woman is close to unemployable, in my view, and I felt a deep sadness as I talked to her, knowing I would never offer her a job and feeling certain that few people would. Her husband died recently and she moved back to Dallas recently...and she is unemployable. That's heartbreaking. I wish I could snap my fingers and change her appearance and personal presentation so she could get a job. She has skills and knowledge, I'm convinced of it, but they do not overcome her own persona. I asked her if she smoked and she said no...but, as an ex-smoker (I smoked for more than 35 years), I could tell she does...and she can't control it. Shit. Poor woman. Why did I invite her in for an interview? It just depressed me.
Things continue to be troubling for me. Firing staff, looking for replacement, wishing I could just cash it all it and retire.
You who are better-situated than I, enjoy your lives. You who are in my position, get into a new one. I'm working on that, myself.
On another topic, my yard looks nice today. Rain helps.
The applicants have ranged from a brand-new, fresh, wet-behind-the-ears college grad (today) to a well-seasoned manager who's "seen it all." During this stint of interviewing, I've decided that I'm actually looking for two positions, at least: one to replace the departing staffer...a person who can lead the client, serve as a sounding board for clients, and have credibility with them; and another to be a support person, someone with high energy, a quick learner with unbridled enthusiasm. The "college kid" I talked to today will come back on Monday; I liked him and he seems like a malleable person, but one who has sufficient backbone to avoid being molded into something he's not.
Yesterday, I interviewed a woman who is my age (she says), 53, but I was appalled to look at her. She was shriveled and her face was crossed with lines and wrinkles and there is evidence of a hard life behind her. That, alone, was hard to get beyond, but she added to the burden: her answers to all my questions were 95% longer than I'd had hoped and she blathered on about meaningless drivel. And she admitted it. This woman is close to unemployable, in my view, and I felt a deep sadness as I talked to her, knowing I would never offer her a job and feeling certain that few people would. Her husband died recently and she moved back to Dallas recently...and she is unemployable. That's heartbreaking. I wish I could snap my fingers and change her appearance and personal presentation so she could get a job. She has skills and knowledge, I'm convinced of it, but they do not overcome her own persona. I asked her if she smoked and she said no...but, as an ex-smoker (I smoked for more than 35 years), I could tell she does...and she can't control it. Shit. Poor woman. Why did I invite her in for an interview? It just depressed me.
Things continue to be troubling for me. Firing staff, looking for replacement, wishing I could just cash it all it and retire.
You who are better-situated than I, enjoy your lives. You who are in my position, get into a new one. I'm working on that, myself.
On another topic, my yard looks nice today. Rain helps.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
Happy in Heat
I feel summer coming on, ready to erupt into a fiery dance around me, taunting me and laughing as I struggle to cast off the waves of oppressive heat. Summer's forward guard has been gentle thus far, but I feel it's ready to spring into action, baking the ground beneath my feet and toasting the air I breathe.
There are signals, signs, guideposts that point out the inevitable inferno that's coming, ready to tell anyone who will take the time to watch and listen. Maybe it's just that I've seen it before. I know it's on its way. It's ready to seek vengeance for being kept at bay for months on end. It will scream and shriek and shake its razor-sharp teeth at us and will motion us to come closer to feel the cool water. But, then, it will scald us with that wretched spray of sulfurous mist that escapes from faucets that are too far gone to even hope for a cool flow again.
Madmen and impoverished slaves settled in this climate. No one else would have elected to have lived here before the advent of artificial comfort. And the rest of us who followed are evidence that there are those among the living whose good sense has dried up in the sweltering heat.
Fortunately for me, I have frequent flyer miles and an air conditioned car. For me, the summer will be tolerable, at a minimum. I won't melt, I won't drown in my own sweat. If they can live in Tucson and Phoenix, we're OK here. We're more than OK. We're happy in heat. And we can always migrate.
There are signals, signs, guideposts that point out the inevitable inferno that's coming, ready to tell anyone who will take the time to watch and listen. Maybe it's just that I've seen it before. I know it's on its way. It's ready to seek vengeance for being kept at bay for months on end. It will scream and shriek and shake its razor-sharp teeth at us and will motion us to come closer to feel the cool water. But, then, it will scald us with that wretched spray of sulfurous mist that escapes from faucets that are too far gone to even hope for a cool flow again.
Madmen and impoverished slaves settled in this climate. No one else would have elected to have lived here before the advent of artificial comfort. And the rest of us who followed are evidence that there are those among the living whose good sense has dried up in the sweltering heat.
Fortunately for me, I have frequent flyer miles and an air conditioned car. For me, the summer will be tolerable, at a minimum. I won't melt, I won't drown in my own sweat. If they can live in Tucson and Phoenix, we're OK here. We're more than OK. We're happy in heat. And we can always migrate.
Monday, June 4, 2007
You Probably Didn't Care to Know
Today, I spent part of the day writing and employment ad and then placing it on Monster.com. I'm short-staffed and just gave notice to another person, so I have to act quickly to get some folks on board so I can train them ASAP so they can be productive. Another part of my day was following up on un-done work for a particularly good client that I want to keep...but for which I have done too little of late. Too busy trying to put out raging forest fires in other quarters. Madness. Madness. Madness. Madness. Madness. Madness. Madness. Snap out of it!
True to form, the brilliant blue skies that were forecast for today turned menacing by mid-afternoon and then let loose another episode of raging winds and torrential rain. I was too busy to even look outside, but I heard my staff talking about it and overhead conversations about running to parking lot to retrieve umbrellas from cars. By the time I left the office, at a very early 5:35 pm, the skies had once again calmed and the sun was bright and blazing. Now, at 7:45 pm, the throaty growl of thunder is again rolling through the land and I'm expecting another bout of nature's burst of fascinating energy.
For reasons too complex to get into here, my wife and I decided to do a comparative taste-test this evening, comparing Gran Marnier with Triple Sec. Being the naive one I am, I had lived my entire life assuming the two were essentially interchangeable...both were, I thought, orange-flavored liqueurs. By the time we had both tasted the two of them, we had accumulated a bit more wisdom. Gran Marnier tasted, to me, like a hellishly sweet brandy with a slight flavor of orange and the stinging bite of brandy. Triple Sec, on the other hand, was like a hellishly sweet syrup with a distinct flavor of oranges gone bad and the smoothness of chocolate milk. Neither are suitable for human consumption by themselves. Triple Sec is suitable for drinking with good quantities of tequila and lime juice. I cannot imagine anything that would make Gran Marnier drinkable. Is it just my untrained palate?
My car's 10th birthday is approaching. The State of Texas informed me, via mail, that it's time to get new tags for the beast (who I've still not yet named, not really) soon. As I was going through some automobile paperwork in some old files, I came to learn that I have NOT driven my current automobile more miles than any previous one. I only have 152,000+ miles on it. According to the sales documentation on my last one, it had more than 158,800 when I traded it in. So, all my hooopla about keeping my cars longer and longer the older I get and, more importantly, my loud hoots about my current car having the most miles ever....it was all a fantasy. I must continue to drive the beast for many more miles before I can legitimately claim any records. Snarl, snap.
I've been able to confirm a few more of my upcoming trips...or, in some cases, to confirm that no trip is necessary. Next month, I'm in Dallas all month long. Then, a trip to Chicago in September, San Francisco in October, and that, in all likelihood, will comprise my business travel for the rest of the year. Something always comes up, but I doubt it will this time. It's unlikely I will make a trip to Bangkok in November, despite having an interest in going...I've been hammering my client aobut spending too much money and needing to put the brakes on spending, and I think I have been successful, to the extent that I won't be invited to make the trip. Who wants to fly to Bangkok for 36 hours of meetings, anyway? I may insist that my wife accompany me on a frequent-flyer funded trip someplace exotic later this year, though.
Enough of this, the thunder is getting aggressive and I'm not in the mood to have my computer cooked by a beautiful bolt of lightening.
True to form, the brilliant blue skies that were forecast for today turned menacing by mid-afternoon and then let loose another episode of raging winds and torrential rain. I was too busy to even look outside, but I heard my staff talking about it and overhead conversations about running to parking lot to retrieve umbrellas from cars. By the time I left the office, at a very early 5:35 pm, the skies had once again calmed and the sun was bright and blazing. Now, at 7:45 pm, the throaty growl of thunder is again rolling through the land and I'm expecting another bout of nature's burst of fascinating energy.
For reasons too complex to get into here, my wife and I decided to do a comparative taste-test this evening, comparing Gran Marnier with Triple Sec. Being the naive one I am, I had lived my entire life assuming the two were essentially interchangeable...both were, I thought, orange-flavored liqueurs. By the time we had both tasted the two of them, we had accumulated a bit more wisdom. Gran Marnier tasted, to me, like a hellishly sweet brandy with a slight flavor of orange and the stinging bite of brandy. Triple Sec, on the other hand, was like a hellishly sweet syrup with a distinct flavor of oranges gone bad and the smoothness of chocolate milk. Neither are suitable for human consumption by themselves. Triple Sec is suitable for drinking with good quantities of tequila and lime juice. I cannot imagine anything that would make Gran Marnier drinkable. Is it just my untrained palate?
My car's 10th birthday is approaching. The State of Texas informed me, via mail, that it's time to get new tags for the beast (who I've still not yet named, not really) soon. As I was going through some automobile paperwork in some old files, I came to learn that I have NOT driven my current automobile more miles than any previous one. I only have 152,000+ miles on it. According to the sales documentation on my last one, it had more than 158,800 when I traded it in. So, all my hooopla about keeping my cars longer and longer the older I get and, more importantly, my loud hoots about my current car having the most miles ever....it was all a fantasy. I must continue to drive the beast for many more miles before I can legitimately claim any records. Snarl, snap.
I've been able to confirm a few more of my upcoming trips...or, in some cases, to confirm that no trip is necessary. Next month, I'm in Dallas all month long. Then, a trip to Chicago in September, San Francisco in October, and that, in all likelihood, will comprise my business travel for the rest of the year. Something always comes up, but I doubt it will this time. It's unlikely I will make a trip to Bangkok in November, despite having an interest in going...I've been hammering my client aobut spending too much money and needing to put the brakes on spending, and I think I have been successful, to the extent that I won't be invited to make the trip. Who wants to fly to Bangkok for 36 hours of meetings, anyway? I may insist that my wife accompany me on a frequent-flyer funded trip someplace exotic later this year, though.
Enough of this, the thunder is getting aggressive and I'm not in the mood to have my computer cooked by a beautiful bolt of lightening.
Sunday, June 3, 2007
Thunder and Lightening
Despite my good intentions to the contrary, I did not go out for an early morning walk today. After sleeping for a very long time (and coping with a very badly upset stomach for about 3 hours in the middle of the night), I awoke today to the distant sounds of rolling thunder. Soon after hearing those distant rumbles, the sounds became louder and sharper, rattling the windows and vibrating the foundation of the house. Bright flashes of lightening punctuated the dim light in the bedroom, despite the fact that the windows are covered with blinds. The sound of the wind pushing hard against the windows and roaring through the trees just outside was loud, but nothing in comparison to what became a rapid-fire succession of violent claps of thunder that shook the rafters and my teeth. With every explosive crack of thunder, brilliant rays of blue light instantly swept the room, flashing momentary images on my eyes. It was as if I were looking, just for an instant, at old photo negatives in which I could barely make out the four posts of the bed, the sofa in the corner, and the floor fan. To use a favorite phrase of some members of my family, the sights and sounds of the morning were like "all hell was breaking loose."
I got up, put on a robe and slippers, and plodded out to the living room. I peered into the flashing dark morning sky, watching the horizontal rain buffet the exterior walls of the house, standing memerized as thick bands of rain swept across the rooflines of the houses behind us. The trees and bushes in the back yard were being whipped into frenzies of motion, looking for all the world like the plants were struggling mightily to uproot themselves and take flight.
We have three large, floor-to-ceiling stationary windows along one entire wall looking out onto the back patio and into the back yard. Those windows give us a wonderful perspective on fast-moving storm clouds as they muscle their way across the sky from west to east. Of course, those same windows are almost invitations to catastrophe for anyone, like me, who stands awestruck watching the fury of nature. A terrific gust of wind could shatter those windows or, more likely, propel a tree limb or errant trash can through the air and through the windows.
One of the loudest cracks of thunder and most brilliant flashes of lightening coincided with a brief power outage, lasting only a few seconds. It was long enough, though, to trigger battery backup warnings, so I shut down my wife's computer and my ownn and went back to my view of nature's fury. After watching in wonder for awhile, the winds began to diminish and the rain began to let up. I made a pot of coffee, which has become a rarity for me during the last few months, washed some dishes, put away those I'd washed last night, and turned on the television to get some news of the weather. Apparently, the storms had not been predicted, not even by late last night. They sprang up unexpectedly and got worse as they marched eastward. Wind gusts in excess of 60 miles per hour had been recorded just a few miles west of our house and nickel-sized hail had been reported and was still being reported to the east of us. Widespread flooding of low-lying areas was reported.
My wife got up a short while later. She had made a very early night of it last night and had been in bed for about 12 hours by the time she got up, but she said she had not slept much during the night. After her first cup of tea, we began the day in earnest, taking aim at knocking down the chores and errands we had set aside for today. One of mine was to write just a bit in my blog, since I've been so short on postings of late. One chore down. Next time, I'll work on making it a more intriguing read.
I got up, put on a robe and slippers, and plodded out to the living room. I peered into the flashing dark morning sky, watching the horizontal rain buffet the exterior walls of the house, standing memerized as thick bands of rain swept across the rooflines of the houses behind us. The trees and bushes in the back yard were being whipped into frenzies of motion, looking for all the world like the plants were struggling mightily to uproot themselves and take flight.
We have three large, floor-to-ceiling stationary windows along one entire wall looking out onto the back patio and into the back yard. Those windows give us a wonderful perspective on fast-moving storm clouds as they muscle their way across the sky from west to east. Of course, those same windows are almost invitations to catastrophe for anyone, like me, who stands awestruck watching the fury of nature. A terrific gust of wind could shatter those windows or, more likely, propel a tree limb or errant trash can through the air and through the windows.
One of the loudest cracks of thunder and most brilliant flashes of lightening coincided with a brief power outage, lasting only a few seconds. It was long enough, though, to trigger battery backup warnings, so I shut down my wife's computer and my ownn and went back to my view of nature's fury. After watching in wonder for awhile, the winds began to diminish and the rain began to let up. I made a pot of coffee, which has become a rarity for me during the last few months, washed some dishes, put away those I'd washed last night, and turned on the television to get some news of the weather. Apparently, the storms had not been predicted, not even by late last night. They sprang up unexpectedly and got worse as they marched eastward. Wind gusts in excess of 60 miles per hour had been recorded just a few miles west of our house and nickel-sized hail had been reported and was still being reported to the east of us. Widespread flooding of low-lying areas was reported.
My wife got up a short while later. She had made a very early night of it last night and had been in bed for about 12 hours by the time she got up, but she said she had not slept much during the night. After her first cup of tea, we began the day in earnest, taking aim at knocking down the chores and errands we had set aside for today. One of mine was to write just a bit in my blog, since I've been so short on postings of late. One chore down. Next time, I'll work on making it a more intriguing read.
Saturday, June 2, 2007
Odds, Ends, and Others
Today's client meeting was painfully long and annoying...but I got something across to the client, I think, that may improve things moving forward. I discovered that none of the volunteer leaders can read a statement of financial position (balance sheet in the for-profit world) or an income statement; after I explained how to read the financial reports we provide them, they seemed to understand a bit better that we're managing the organization quite well, thank you. Still, it will be awhile before I know whether things are really on the road to being tolerable.
It can pay to know the rules of your frequent flyer program, or I assume it can pay. I don't know them well. I flew on American Airlines to London, then British Airways from London to Moscow. I assumed that, since BA is part of the "One World Alliance," I would get credited for actual miles for the London-Moscow segments. Not so. Not in riff-raff, economy ticket, class, anyway.
The AA/BA rules allowed me to earn only 25% of the actual miles between London and Moscow and return. I bought an "L" fare ticket, which the airlines apparently find almost as offensive as flying 'stow-away.' Such a ticket is treated by the airlines as only slightly more valuable than used chewing gum. My lengthy flights from Dallas to Moscow and return ultimately gave me only approximately 10,200 miles' credit on my frequent flyer account. Unless some unexpected trips come up between now and the end of the year, I'll probably lose my Advantage Gold status. Oh, well, it doesn't seem to do me any good, anyway. I'd rather lose my Gold status than have to travel any more. Business travel was fun for awhile, early in my career, but now it is tolerated only to keep clients.
The weather forecast calls for very warm nights and even warmer days for the next week or so. Maybe I can convince myself to go out for an early morning walk tomorrow morning anyway. I miss hearing birds chirp. I need to go outdoors more.
It can pay to know the rules of your frequent flyer program, or I assume it can pay. I don't know them well. I flew on American Airlines to London, then British Airways from London to Moscow. I assumed that, since BA is part of the "One World Alliance," I would get credited for actual miles for the London-Moscow segments. Not so. Not in riff-raff, economy ticket, class, anyway.
The AA/BA rules allowed me to earn only 25% of the actual miles between London and Moscow and return. I bought an "L" fare ticket, which the airlines apparently find almost as offensive as flying 'stow-away.' Such a ticket is treated by the airlines as only slightly more valuable than used chewing gum. My lengthy flights from Dallas to Moscow and return ultimately gave me only approximately 10,200 miles' credit on my frequent flyer account. Unless some unexpected trips come up between now and the end of the year, I'll probably lose my Advantage Gold status. Oh, well, it doesn't seem to do me any good, anyway. I'd rather lose my Gold status than have to travel any more. Business travel was fun for awhile, early in my career, but now it is tolerated only to keep clients.
The weather forecast calls for very warm nights and even warmer days for the next week or so. Maybe I can convince myself to go out for an early morning walk tomorrow morning anyway. I miss hearing birds chirp. I need to go outdoors more.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Better Days
I've not been in the mood to write much lately. My mind has been on problems at the office. My return flights from my terribly short trip to Moscow had me worrying, thinking, and wishing that I could snap my fingers and go beyond the stress I've been feeling of late.
A client has gotten very unhappy with a staff member whose performance, despite my hopes and efforts to the contrary, has continued to deteriorate. This is the same staff member who suffered a serious medical problem late last year. The client board has reached its limits; so much so that there has been talk of terminating the contract. They have insisted that she go. So, I had to take action. I informed the staff member that I'm terminating her employment, but offered to give her a decent severance package if she will stay for a short while to help us with the transition to a new client manager. That's tough. If I were in her shoes, I would have turned it down, but she has agreed. Now, it's a matter of cajoling the client into staying.
Another client is squawking about how much they're paying and will visit me tomorrow (a Saturday, as usual) to talk. It's a small, annoying client, only a year plus into our agreement. I'm in no mood to be berated for charging too much by a client that's getting far more than it's paying for. If things get awkward, I am prepared to deliver a notice of termination to the client tomorrow, albeit it will not be something I want to do. But, life's too short.
Yet another client, a tiny little group that I've allowed to stay on out of sympathy, is just too much trouble, so I called the president of the organization today and left a message for her to call me. When she does, I'll inform her that I'm resigning the account.
Now that I read this, and posts I've made in the past, it looks like I am trying to deconstruct my business. That's not it at all. I am just having to come to grips with the fact that I have been insufficiently selective about the clients I have taken on. It's a danger, this dance I'm doing, but I have to face up to the fact that I've let things go on too long.
When all this is over, I'll be happier or bankrupt or both.
A client has gotten very unhappy with a staff member whose performance, despite my hopes and efforts to the contrary, has continued to deteriorate. This is the same staff member who suffered a serious medical problem late last year. The client board has reached its limits; so much so that there has been talk of terminating the contract. They have insisted that she go. So, I had to take action. I informed the staff member that I'm terminating her employment, but offered to give her a decent severance package if she will stay for a short while to help us with the transition to a new client manager. That's tough. If I were in her shoes, I would have turned it down, but she has agreed. Now, it's a matter of cajoling the client into staying.
Another client is squawking about how much they're paying and will visit me tomorrow (a Saturday, as usual) to talk. It's a small, annoying client, only a year plus into our agreement. I'm in no mood to be berated for charging too much by a client that's getting far more than it's paying for. If things get awkward, I am prepared to deliver a notice of termination to the client tomorrow, albeit it will not be something I want to do. But, life's too short.
Yet another client, a tiny little group that I've allowed to stay on out of sympathy, is just too much trouble, so I called the president of the organization today and left a message for her to call me. When she does, I'll inform her that I'm resigning the account.
Now that I read this, and posts I've made in the past, it looks like I am trying to deconstruct my business. That's not it at all. I am just having to come to grips with the fact that I have been insufficiently selective about the clients I have taken on. It's a danger, this dance I'm doing, but I have to face up to the fact that I've let things go on too long.
When all this is over, I'll be happier or bankrupt or both.