Yesterday, or was it the day before, I heard Susan Stamberg interview Joan Didion about her latest book, The Year of Magical Thinking. I've not read any of Didion's work, nor do I recall reading anything written by her late husband, John Gregory Dunne.
I was intrigued hearing Didion reading a few lines from her book, so I decided to check the NPR website to read a bit more. Didion's book is about her life during the year after her husband of forty years suffered a massive heart attack at their dining table and died. I've only read the excerpt, but it alone was enough to make me think, "this is an excellent book...I have to read it." It's not the topic that intrigued me, it's the idea of hearing, first hand, how a person dealt with an immense personal trauma...a trauma like all of us will face at one time or another.
What I find compelling about Joan Didion's story (the little bit I've read) is the detail, and the acknowledgement of missed detail, of dealing with this personal trauma. It's a personal story, a simple story about a simple but horrible event, that, told properly, can interest the reader and draw the reader into the author's life.
I thought, after reading the excerpt from Didion's book, that I should write about my experience of having troubling chest pains, visiting a doctor, and then finding myself rushing into a fairly major surgery that would change my life in some significant ways. My experience was nothing if not commonplace...but where are the stories about such commonplace experiences that can help others who have not had them truly understand them?
I've always been told, and have read many times, "write what you know." While I don't always buy that admonition, I think it can't hurt from time to time. So, before long, I'll write about my own experiences. And I'll read The Year of Magical Thinking.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
There are men too gentle...
I am trying hard to remember a book of poetry I read many, many years ago. I don't recall the name of the poet, but I do recall, at least in part, the name of the book of poetry: "There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves." I am not one of them; I cannot turn the other cheek, look for the good in bad people, or "forgive them, for they know not what they do." I'm not a good Christian. I'd make a great lion though, at least sometimes I would. Such is life.
But, on occasion, I read something that touches me, for reasons unknown, and I want to share it. I encourage you to read a post on A Curmudgeonly Crab's blog. The blogger, a woman, could be my twin...except that she has at least one child (a daughter), which does not...could not...will never...describe me. Some people shouldn't have children. MOST people shouldn't have children. I'm one of them. At any rate, the Curmudgeonly Crab posted something I found quite moving...just don't know why. The fact that she hates Bush is a positive thing, but there's more. Look at the post in question at http://crabbiness.blogspot.com/2005/10/musings.html.
So, who IS the poet who wrote There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves? I'm sure I can find out quickly if I just do a Google search. Why do I remember it just now? Perhaps it's because I am thinking of George Bush and his repetitive claim that he is a "compassionate conservative." He is a lying piece of shit. I would like very much to broil his liver and do a taste test, complete with onions...is beef or Bush better?
It's late...I should go to bed...but I'm awake, aware, and angry that my country is being destroyed by a man who deserves nothing better than a bath in boiling oil. It's getting worse by the day. Either we will have a real revolution, a concept which I increasingly support, or we will be a purely fascist state before Bush's term ends. I am ready for revolution. I really do like the Constitution and its acknowledgement that we, the People, have a right to protect ourselves against George Bush and his cronies. Let's use that right!
==========================
After posting my vitriolic message, I looked for the poem that I remembered. Somehow, my diatribe seems unconnected, irrelevant. What could possess me to remember this gentle poem, recognizing the gentler ones among us, yet be so violent and angry? I'm feeling, tonight, like I am very, very confused about who I am, what I want, what I need from life. These are the feelings of a teenager...these are feelings that don't belong to a geezer. Oh well, I'll get through them again.
Here is the poem:
"There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who prey upon them with IBM eyes
And sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon.
There are men to gentle for a savage world
Who dream instead of snow and children and Halloween
And wonder if the leaves will change their color soon.
There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who anoint them for burial with greedy claws
And murder them for a merchant's profit and gain.
There are men too gentle for a corporate world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And pause to hear the distant whistle of a train.
There are men too gentle too live amoung wolves
Who devour them with appetite and search
For other men to prey upon and suck their childhood dry.
There are men too gentle for an accountant's world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And search for beauty in the mystery of the sky.
o
There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who toss them like a lost and wounded dove
Such gentle men are lonely in a merchant's world
Unless they have a gentle one to love."
James Kavanaugh
And, finally...I am awfully tired. This blog is so rarely read, I wonder why I'm writing anything. Very rare that any comments are left, and I've been able to get a count of visitors, which is very, very low. But what the hell...I'm writing this for me, much more for me than for anyone else. I may, one day, pull lots of this crap off the blog and use it to form the skeleton of a book...or something.
But, on occasion, I read something that touches me, for reasons unknown, and I want to share it. I encourage you to read a post on A Curmudgeonly Crab's blog. The blogger, a woman, could be my twin...except that she has at least one child (a daughter), which does not...could not...will never...describe me. Some people shouldn't have children. MOST people shouldn't have children. I'm one of them. At any rate, the Curmudgeonly Crab posted something I found quite moving...just don't know why. The fact that she hates Bush is a positive thing, but there's more. Look at the post in question at http://crabbiness.blogspot.com/2005/10/musings.html.
So, who IS the poet who wrote There Are Men Too Gentle to Live Among Wolves? I'm sure I can find out quickly if I just do a Google search. Why do I remember it just now? Perhaps it's because I am thinking of George Bush and his repetitive claim that he is a "compassionate conservative." He is a lying piece of shit. I would like very much to broil his liver and do a taste test, complete with onions...is beef or Bush better?
It's late...I should go to bed...but I'm awake, aware, and angry that my country is being destroyed by a man who deserves nothing better than a bath in boiling oil. It's getting worse by the day. Either we will have a real revolution, a concept which I increasingly support, or we will be a purely fascist state before Bush's term ends. I am ready for revolution. I really do like the Constitution and its acknowledgement that we, the People, have a right to protect ourselves against George Bush and his cronies. Let's use that right!
==========================
After posting my vitriolic message, I looked for the poem that I remembered. Somehow, my diatribe seems unconnected, irrelevant. What could possess me to remember this gentle poem, recognizing the gentler ones among us, yet be so violent and angry? I'm feeling, tonight, like I am very, very confused about who I am, what I want, what I need from life. These are the feelings of a teenager...these are feelings that don't belong to a geezer. Oh well, I'll get through them again.
Here is the poem:
"There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who prey upon them with IBM eyes
And sell their hearts and guts for martinis at noon.
There are men to gentle for a savage world
Who dream instead of snow and children and Halloween
And wonder if the leaves will change their color soon.
There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who anoint them for burial with greedy claws
And murder them for a merchant's profit and gain.
There are men too gentle for a corporate world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And pause to hear the distant whistle of a train.
There are men too gentle too live amoung wolves
Who devour them with appetite and search
For other men to prey upon and suck their childhood dry.
There are men too gentle for an accountant's world
Who dream instead of Easter eggs and fragrant grass
And search for beauty in the mystery of the sky.
o
There are men too gentle to live among wolves
Who toss them like a lost and wounded dove
Such gentle men are lonely in a merchant's world
Unless they have a gentle one to love."
James Kavanaugh
And, finally...I am awfully tired. This blog is so rarely read, I wonder why I'm writing anything. Very rare that any comments are left, and I've been able to get a count of visitors, which is very, very low. But what the hell...I'm writing this for me, much more for me than for anyone else. I may, one day, pull lots of this crap off the blog and use it to form the skeleton of a book...or something.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Deadly People Need to be Treated Like the Scum They Are
Bush and his fascist scum chums are talking about Harriet Miers' religion, saying it is important. Bush has taken everything about his so-called faith too far.
I am not a Christian...simply don't believe the fables...and it's scary to be in my shoes. I have no quarrel with people who have deep religious beliefs, so long as the do not try to rule my life on the basis of those beliefs. The religious beliefs of a nominee to the Supreme Court should be utterly irelevant. Unfortunately, Bush and his right-wing nutcase administration have decided that born-again Christians are the only real Americans and they, and they alone, should dictate the moral values of the U.S. The fact that their moral values are so screwed up matters not; the right to lifers are the very ones calling on murder in the name of God when it comes to executing people, attacking people in foreign lands...it goes on and on.
I have reached the point that I no longer simply disagree with people who support Bush. I feel I have no reasonable option other than to consider them very, very dangerous people. The either are not smart enough to understand what kind of fascist thug they are supporting, or they are people who are actively involved in the process. Bush supporters are the enemy...they are doing all they can to kill the constitution and the country. And they are trying to take away my rights, my freedoms, my ability to think and live the way I believe is right.
Today, I feel very threatened, like I'm backed up against a wall. That makes me dangerous, as well. I won't go quietly. The bastards will have a horrific fight on their hands.
I am not a Christian...simply don't believe the fables...and it's scary to be in my shoes. I have no quarrel with people who have deep religious beliefs, so long as the do not try to rule my life on the basis of those beliefs. The religious beliefs of a nominee to the Supreme Court should be utterly irelevant. Unfortunately, Bush and his right-wing nutcase administration have decided that born-again Christians are the only real Americans and they, and they alone, should dictate the moral values of the U.S. The fact that their moral values are so screwed up matters not; the right to lifers are the very ones calling on murder in the name of God when it comes to executing people, attacking people in foreign lands...it goes on and on.
I have reached the point that I no longer simply disagree with people who support Bush. I feel I have no reasonable option other than to consider them very, very dangerous people. The either are not smart enough to understand what kind of fascist thug they are supporting, or they are people who are actively involved in the process. Bush supporters are the enemy...they are doing all they can to kill the constitution and the country. And they are trying to take away my rights, my freedoms, my ability to think and live the way I believe is right.
Today, I feel very threatened, like I'm backed up against a wall. That makes me dangerous, as well. I won't go quietly. The bastards will have a horrific fight on their hands.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Two Part Post: 1) Ha!; 2) Demand DeLay's Resignation
The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of STD
This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim(pronounced "gonna re-elect him.") Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to: Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago from a Texas Bush.
Demand DeLay's Resignation
"Tom DeLay was recently indicted by a Texas Grand Jury on two charges; criminal conspiracy and money laundering. Tom DeLay is the personification of the corrupt pay-to-play politics that is the hallmark of today’s Republican-controlled Congress.
Congress is no place for scoundrels like DeLay who blatantly abuse their power for personal and corporate gain -- at the expense of the American people. Please, write your Representative and demand that they call publicly for Tom DeLay's resignation from Congress."
This message brought to you by Campaign for America's Future.
This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.
The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim(pronounced "gonna re-elect him.") Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.
Cognitive sequelae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include, but are not limited to: Anti-social personality disorder traits; delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor; chronic mangling of the English language; extreme cognitive dissonance; inability to incorporate new information; pronounced xenophobia; inability to accept responsibility for actions; exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado; uncontrolled facial smirking; ignorance of geography and history; tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies; and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.
The disease is sweeping Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago from a Texas Bush.
Demand DeLay's Resignation
"Tom DeLay was recently indicted by a Texas Grand Jury on two charges; criminal conspiracy and money laundering. Tom DeLay is the personification of the corrupt pay-to-play politics that is the hallmark of today’s Republican-controlled Congress.
Congress is no place for scoundrels like DeLay who blatantly abuse their power for personal and corporate gain -- at the expense of the American people. Please, write your Representative and demand that they call publicly for Tom DeLay's resignation from Congress."
This message brought to you by Campaign for America's Future.
Monday, October 10, 2005
Grilled Okra
Today's post is completely apolitical. Do not read anything in to it beyond its surface message. Really.
Grilled okra is wonderful. It sounds awful. It is not. It is good.
To prepare it, wash a bunch of whole okra and blot it dry. Place it on a sheet of aluminum foil that has been lightly coated with olive oil. Mist olive oil onto the okra, then season the okra with either a vegetable seasoning mix or use a mix of salt, chili powder, garlic powder, a touch of cumin, and a touch of oregano (ground or flakes). Place the foil with okra onto a hot grill. Turn occasionally until the okra has slight burn marks all around. Serve it with sausage, steak, chicken...whatever. It's really excellent!
More blazing vitriol later. But today is my okra recipe day.
Grilled okra is wonderful. It sounds awful. It is not. It is good.
To prepare it, wash a bunch of whole okra and blot it dry. Place it on a sheet of aluminum foil that has been lightly coated with olive oil. Mist olive oil onto the okra, then season the okra with either a vegetable seasoning mix or use a mix of salt, chili powder, garlic powder, a touch of cumin, and a touch of oregano (ground or flakes). Place the foil with okra onto a hot grill. Turn occasionally until the okra has slight burn marks all around. Serve it with sausage, steak, chicken...whatever. It's really excellent!
More blazing vitriol later. But today is my okra recipe day.
Sunday, October 9, 2005
Why George Bush Doesn't Care About You and Me
How can I put this delicately...how can I introduce this gently? I can't. The simple truth is that George Bush doesn't care about you and me because we're not important to him...in fact, we're so utterly unimportant to him that he doesn't know that we exist, and he doesn't care whether we do or not.
The simple truth, bare of all explanatory apologies, is this:
George Bush doesn't care about you and me because he is a sociopathic asshole.
Don't feel bad, though. He doesn't care about our troops in Afghanistan or Iraq, either. They are just pawns to him. He doesn't care about his "buddies" in government, his former colleagues in the oil business, his former employees, his current employees...nobody. He doesn't give one little shit. He mouths concern about people, he feigns respect and admiration, but in reality none of us matter to him at all. Large numbers of dead black people in Louisiana do not matter to him. The dead from yesterday's earthquake in Asia do not matter to him. His mother and father do not matter to him. He cares only for himself. He'd as soon slit his wife's throat as look at her...but he does understand such behavior is unbecoming a President, so he refrains from acting on his whims.
Why doesn't George care about us? He's sick...mentally. Psycho. Nuts. Out of his gourd. He is a fuckin' nutcase. So we should feel empathy and pity and sorrow for him, right? I guess so. We should not fault him for things he can't control. It's not the "Christian" thing to do, treating such sociopathic nutcases badly. We should heed the words of the bible and treat him with dignity and respect and try to heal him, right? Perhaps...but some think we should treat him very differently...
I care about George Bush. I care so much that, if it were within my power, I would enable him to actually have the compassion he talks about. I would enable him to understand and feel badly about the pain he causes so many people around this earth. Some people, though, would simply have him put him out of our misery.
Step down, George, along with your entire administration.
The simple truth, bare of all explanatory apologies, is this:
George Bush doesn't care about you and me because he is a sociopathic asshole.
Don't feel bad, though. He doesn't care about our troops in Afghanistan or Iraq, either. They are just pawns to him. He doesn't care about his "buddies" in government, his former colleagues in the oil business, his former employees, his current employees...nobody. He doesn't give one little shit. He mouths concern about people, he feigns respect and admiration, but in reality none of us matter to him at all. Large numbers of dead black people in Louisiana do not matter to him. The dead from yesterday's earthquake in Asia do not matter to him. His mother and father do not matter to him. He cares only for himself. He'd as soon slit his wife's throat as look at her...but he does understand such behavior is unbecoming a President, so he refrains from acting on his whims.
Why doesn't George care about us? He's sick...mentally. Psycho. Nuts. Out of his gourd. He is a fuckin' nutcase. So we should feel empathy and pity and sorrow for him, right? I guess so. We should not fault him for things he can't control. It's not the "Christian" thing to do, treating such sociopathic nutcases badly. We should heed the words of the bible and treat him with dignity and respect and try to heal him, right? Perhaps...but some think we should treat him very differently...
I care about George Bush. I care so much that, if it were within my power, I would enable him to actually have the compassion he talks about. I would enable him to understand and feel badly about the pain he causes so many people around this earth. Some people, though, would simply have him put him out of our misery.
Step down, George, along with your entire administration.
Saturday, October 8, 2005
Car Names
I frequently think about car names...don't ask why, I just do. But I don't think about them because I like them...I think about them because I want to change them. Here are some cars I'd like to see on the road:
Chevrolet Slut
Ford Fool
Dodge Dolt
Buick Bastard
Nissan Nazi
Toyota Tramp
Porche Potato
Kia KaFlubbalot
I've also considered that it would be fun to have the power to snap my fingers and change all brand names to a new name of my choice. For example, I might change the Chevrolet brand to the Melish brand. If I were to change both the brand and the model, I could transform the mighty Chevrolet Corvette into the Melish GaSqueenk. Or, I could rebrand Nissan into Blup. And I might change the 350Z model into the L½. So, how very cool would it be to drive up to the party in your brand new Blup L½? Not very.
If would be different, of course, if I were to successfully open Geezer (I wrote about it yesterday). Then, it would be über-cool to drive up in the Melish GaSqueenk or Blup L½; doubly so if they were older models with faded paint, bumper stickers sporting peace messages, and words of wisdom from the likes of Hunter S. Thompson and Allen Ginsberg.
Chevrolet Slut
Ford Fool
Dodge Dolt
Buick Bastard
Nissan Nazi
Toyota Tramp
Porche Potato
Kia KaFlubbalot
I've also considered that it would be fun to have the power to snap my fingers and change all brand names to a new name of my choice. For example, I might change the Chevrolet brand to the Melish brand. If I were to change both the brand and the model, I could transform the mighty Chevrolet Corvette into the Melish GaSqueenk. Or, I could rebrand Nissan into Blup. And I might change the 350Z model into the L½. So, how very cool would it be to drive up to the party in your brand new Blup L½? Not very.
If would be different, of course, if I were to successfully open Geezer (I wrote about it yesterday). Then, it would be über-cool to drive up in the Melish GaSqueenk or Blup L½; doubly so if they were older models with faded paint, bumper stickers sporting peace messages, and words of wisdom from the likes of Hunter S. Thompson and Allen Ginsberg.